Random spurts

Mmm I think a massage. Something to relax me and get this sensation of sorts, of my back, off my head, off my chest. It's nothing much, but I'm itching to.. do something. What it is I do not know exactly, so maybe I'm just blogging after two months of inactivity. See if it does the trick.

Wah so many things on my mind right now. So lemme just fire away randomly and see how much base I'd cover.

I came back last night from Hong Kong! Cool place, my first time there. Sorry parents I wasn't able to say hello and tell you how I was... for some reason I couldn't SMS after sending out a few messages. But woot HK is good stuff. Even if I was mostly in the hotel and in the office and surrounding areas, it was very charming la. Not as clean as Singapore, but the apartments are towering, the cars are fancier, the people are cute, and although I can't speak a word of Cantonese, I think I'd like to brave it on my own over there and see how it goes.:) Glad my boss was with me though, so I didn't get lost. Learned a lot of things over beer too. Haha. And woot five-star hotel room to myself, and many big soft pillows and bathtub and buffet breakfast. I could get used to that, though I'll never go to one of those if I were using my own $.

I happen to like being in airplanes a lot. Makes me think of things. Like what the hell I'm doing with my life, like where I'm actually going, am I really too young (my HK colleague was stunned when I told him over sumptious Chinese lunch that I'm only 23 -- they're all in their late twenties) or am I getting old, when will I shake off this 'little boy' feeling in the team and act mature and professional so people take me more seriously? While up in the air I tend to think of big-picture stuff -- must be because of the zoomed-out-ness of the view from the airplane window. Something along the cheesiness of what the story of my life is, is this how I planned it to be, have I been a good person, why I'm happy, why I'm unhappy, what I can do about things, am I even moving in the right direction. That sort of stuff. And the stuff that's just stuck in my head la -- like my subconscious obsession with work and wanting to do a good job, and people and things that uncontrollably keep popping up in my mind. Or I think of the TV show Lost, and how anytime the plane could crash and I'd be in the middle of nowhere and no one would find me.

And then before I get zoned out it would then be time for my airline food from the flight attendants, and my extra beer or extra wine.

Oh I watched Kate Winslet's The Reader on the flight to Hong Kong too. I was sitting in the middle seat between two businessman-looking guys and I couldn't help but feel incredibly awkward during the nude scenes (reminiscent of Titanic, anyone?) and love scenes of Kate's character and the 15-year-old boy. Almost like pedophilia I think. Shudder. I hope my two seatmates didn't think I was a pervert. Then again it was an Oscar-nominated film, and gave Kate her best actress win.

The Reader. Well done. Depressed me just the way I like it. Last time I saw a movie on the plane it was Million Dollar Baby. Heart-wrenching drama movies for the pretentious side of me who thinks I'm qualified to dissect films after dabbling in a few film modules in NUS.

After whirlwind HK trip I'm back here in Singapore to do my work and sing in choir and prepare for trip to China with the choir on Sunday. (Less than two weeks after I arrive it's off to Phuket) Woot I never was the frequent traveler kind so this is unusual territory to me. It's tiring but refreshing and educational and leisurely too.

NUS Choir. I keep coming back to you huh. I'm getting into the choir spirit again. Maybe it's because everything is falling into place for the five songs we're singing for the choir competition in Hangzhou, I'm sort of connecting with the new faces in the choir, and I don't know, it's the music lah, thank God for the music, the songs I'm singing, what would life be, without a song, or a dance what are we? Yeah something like that. And Michelle and Peimin that Pooka video was very sweet of you. Made me feel warm and fuzzy about the choir thing again.

OK la, since I'm blabbering some random shout-outs. You, I miss you. You, whew, I think, for my sake, please get out of my head (I'm tired of overthinking). Or give me a sign. You, thanks for looking after me. You, I really hate to lie to you, but sigh, I like to think I don't have much choice. You, I wish I could keep in touch more. You, I wish you'd snap out of it. You, I think you should think of people other than yourself. You, don't change, I like you just the way you are.

And as for you, Mr Joe, go to bed. Don't re-read and proofread and tidy up this entry. Loong last day at work tomorrow before your two-week block leave. And the audit guys are coming, and your ass is sort of on the line. Wooooo scary. But don't worry, believe you've covered your ass well enough and that you're sort of invincible. Believe in yourself la you.

You're okay. You just have to wait for your turn. Whatever that means.