BACK HOME

argh. i spent two hours in this net cafe and i haven't done the stuff i intended to do! hmph.

what i did were, chat with jasper and dea (which is a very good thing, btw, since they're two of my closest friends), and edit this blog! goooooooooooodneessss gracious, i realized how APPALLING this blog looks like from an internet cafe here in davao! i just had to do something about it. you see, i've been using my laptop to check my blog in singapore, and it turned out nice and cool (to me at least). i didn't realize i had some miscellaneous stuff to keep its appearance that way, like font smoothing etc. i hope it looks um, presentable, right now.

hmmm... not the right mood to start an i'm-back-home-and-i'm-oh-so-happy blog.
oh well.

anyway, in case you haven't yet figured out, I'M HOME NA!!
isn't that great and wonderful and wooohooooo?!!

hmmm.. what have i been doing the past three days? NOT blogging, i'm sure you've noticed. ;)
actually, it's been just "peachy" (dea's favorite word).

i'm actually IDLE a lot, but that's a good thing. i just sit and relax and meet my folks (sister's still on a secret mission in the boondocks =P) and my lola and uncles and tita, and villagemates and friends. quite fun. and ooh, the tv is my new best friend. hehehe. i'm figuring out the changes to the small screen since i left. and oooooh, american idol everyday at 6pm on ABC! it's delayed of course (last night was group 4 showdown which included jasmine, george, john), but in a few weeks, it'll catch up with the real-time airing. i hope. i'm mighty sure korinna's gonna enjoy it. and, i'm checking out for myself if marina isn't as corny as it could easily be mistaken to be. hee hee.

hmmm.. i told myself i'm gonna blog and check my email when i came here.

i guess the first one's done, so i'm now gonna check my mail. ;)
after that, i'm gonna find non-boring ways to spend my 3-month long summer. =P






TIME TO PACK UP

i'm packing up as i type.
sigh. i have to fit loads of stuff into 2 containers, the only allowable baggage count for the use of the F-block lounge for storage over the looong holidays. i have two HUUUUUUGE cartons anyway, so that makes me feel better. the two boxes are so big i could fit into them my other suitcase, my big printer box, a smaller box, my hardbound books and notes, and get this: even my laundry basket. bwahahaha. good thing they never specified what "2 containers" actually meant.

watched lots of OC. im in episode 6 now. and this anna stern is the coolest gal.

watched survivor too. am i GLAAAAAAAD shii ann the underdog made it. i don't feel for alicia, sorry! well, maybe i felt for her after the reward challenge revealed that she wasn't too popular among the group she's sticking with. but then, that should have given her a clue. i love survivor. i'm a psychoanalyst in disguise. be very afraid.

and oh yeah. it rained this afternoon. it should be a relief from the scorching heat wave that hit singapore in recent MONTHS, but dammit, it rained on the ONE SINGLE DAY i didn't want it to. i was doing my final laundry for the sem, before i stuff them clothes and towels in boxes, and it happened to just rain, for the heck of it. it was playing on me! it rained long enough to wet my clothes, and then it was gone. hmph. it's fine. i guess i'll have to bring my damp towels and all my pants home.

hmmmm.. i shouldn't be blogging now.
i have to pack up, and bring the stuff inside the F lounge before zhou yang the keeper of the key goes to bed.
9:40am flight tomorrow to manila. afternoon flight to davao. can't wait.

guess i couldn't blog much in davao. no net at home, see. oh well. maybe it's a good thing. OR, maybe this means i'll only have to think of more creative ways to chronicle my adventures. basta, i'm going home, i'm gonna miss singapore yes, but i'll get over it. hehe.



WOW

talk about self-control. i actually didn't blog for a whole day! isn't that just super?!
wow. i'm mighty proud of myself. i thought i was hooked. great. ;)

(ACTUALLY, the real reason's that the earlier half of my day was spent sleeping, since i had this hangover from dirinking last night at boat quay again, and because i have finally begun carrying out my plan to PACK UP for my sing-manila-davao flight on saturday)

hmmm.. tonight (or last night) the cambodians bade goodbye, jennifer hudson got the boot on AI (it was supposed to be a surprise, but for some reason i have this "spoiler sense" which detects the tiniest hints of spoiler material through people's conversations. hmph. I STILL HATE SPOILERS), and i watched the third ep of the OC on tv.

OC is cool. it's intense. it's relatable. it's in-your-face.
i like seth. i guess that doesn't surprise anyone. hee. and marissa is effortlessly beautiful. still not in the ranks of "lovely" just yet, but i'm thinking she'll charm me more in the next episodes (almost end of season 1 in the US already).


TAMA NA YAN, INUMAN NA

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LAS I I I I I I I I I I NNNNNNNNNNNNNGGG!

oh, i should tell you about how brice got drunk the other night. i was shocked that mr. bartender actually gets drunk. it was hilarious really. i'm gonna be skimpy on details, as brice might not be too proud of it, but i can tell u that it happened when we got back in the hall, and it involved the floor, some grass, a wrong room, and some cold water. haha.

it was a weeknight (a wednesday, but not ladies' night), but we went nonetheless, as it was supposedly the bridging kids last night-out before we become undergrads. we were only 6 though, out of 13. noe noe went out with his burmese seniors, the 3 cambodians had a buffet dinner somewhere else, tuk had plans also with her seniors, ivy wanted to save money and korinna wanted to watch american idol for the last time in singapore. it was me, boat, xay, brice, dust, diana. all boys daw sabi nina brice and dust! hahaha. buti na lang game si diana at hindi pikon. no econs tutor tongni to treat us, so we spent our own moolah.

the pub was in boat quay, and the setting of the outdoor tables was great. we were beside a serene, calm river, and across it were the bright city lights. the gentle breeze was just the perfect temperature, occurring in similarly perfect intervals. it was a romantic place really, but when you turn to your left, you see this whole block of clubs and pubs pulsating with music, glowing with neon lights, and smelling of booze. perfect. perfect place to get drunk.

i almost did, and for a while i thought diana was drunk too. but i managed to control myself by not taking any more when i thought i was close to getting there. i thought it was time to stop, but boat, my thai friend and aspiring model, asked me (in the second pub we visited) to down a mug with him, saying, "JOSEPH! for FRIENDSHIP!" hahaha. who am i to refuse, right? ;) that's the thing with me, i'd like to think my "pakikisama" skills are above average.:P

i never quite understood why people drank and got drunk before. i realize now that it's more than the booze. it's more than just throwing away good money for some liquid that turns your pee to a golden yellow, and that leaves a crazy whirl in your head. as diana said, in a tone that didn't seem quite drunk just yet (or maybe it was just me), "bonding bonding lagi kapag inuman." right on.

[i'll post photos sometime tomorrow. it's amazing how much fun a digicam can add to any occasion. ;) ]
A "NEWSWORTHY" SUDDEN THOUGHT

i was reading the news again, courtesy of channel new asia (collapse of a highway yesterday), and then it hit me:
I MISS NEWSWRITING.

Here is a brief article about the unfortunate incident.
i used to write news for our high school paper. i loved joining press conferences for it. it was something i didn't WANT WANT at first, but when i was thrust into it by my schoolpaper adviser in my junior year, and the contests turned out well, i realized, i can be quite good at this.

it's brilliant, really, any news item. it's smart, it's concise, it's direct to the point.
totally different from my random ramblings in the blog, of course. hehe.

i used to think that news was something drab and boring and black-and-white dull, something that shuts off one's creativity, unlike the colorful feature and literary worlds. i realized later though, that news is cool. you're given a set of facts, you kill through the unnecessary stuff, and you present them in a fashion that appears intellectual yet not pretentious, that covers all the bases thoroughly, that tells an interesting story in an interesting manner: backwards.

and of course there's a certain style to writing news.
a consistent judge in press conferences and a local journalist, mr. ed fernandez, says that you can memorize all the news elements, the inverted-pyramid requirement, the conventions in the presentation of facts, but you can never figure out how to write it WELL unless you fully GET IT. you have to understand how it's done, and read read and practice practice.

too bad there isn't any journalism course in NUS. i would've taken that as a minor.
SEVEN THINGS I LEARNED TODAY (or yesterday)

1. you can call the travel agency in the morning and get your ticket that same day [i thought it took a week].
(how could i have missed that? when i'm an amazing race fan? dummy.)

2. you can stay in a university for two semesters and still take the wrong bus.
(or actually the right bus, but headed for the wrong direction, taking the looooooooooong way. MAJOR DUMMY)

3. you always get lost in orchard. and your knees always hurt from too much walking there.
and the high-end designer items always seem so distant and unreachable, constant SCREAMING reminders that LIFE IS NOT FAIR. yayaman din ako! bwahahaha! just you wait.

4. Kinokuniya is indeed the best and biggest and coolest bookstore in Asia.
(kinokuniya.. don't memorize the word, and i bet you'll forget it in a few hours [kinonokia? koniyinuka? kinukoniya?] )

5. some bus drivers can be just plain DEAF. blasted driver ignored me when i buzzed the button to let me alight at the law link. i was going to karen's room in temasek hall, to give her the ransom money, and so i stopped at the next bus stop and had to wait for another bus headed for the opposite direction uli. wasted my time ah. that's the 3rd transpo screw-up i had in one day! that's it, mr bus driver, i'm gonna be a very bad passenger from now on. what exactly i'm gonna do i still haven't figured out, but WOE TO YOU. (nah, i take that back. i won't curse you na, just get some FREAKIN' COTTON SWABS!)

6. cheese crackers can be heavenly after all. thanks karen!
(and sorry, no amount of cheese crackers can dissuade me from charging you interest.. hehehe.
pero be good to me, and i might lower it a teeny weeny WEEEEENY bit.;P )

7. you can go to a foreign country, all alone even, just to have your hair done.
(korinna did hers in malaysia. haha! peace tayo kor!) and to do some shopping na rin pala.

yun na. have to pack up na! i'm still figuring out how to stuff my paraphernalia into two large boxes.
and oooh, CSI and CSI Miami epidodes are waiting for me (wayne's shared network folder). later na pack. ;)

SING ALONG

hahaha. if you notice that my webcounter counts too much the last few days (i don't think you would, since it's semi-hidden anyway, but even if it weren't i don't think anyone would notice), it's because i've been singing along to "burn" by usher. hehehe. yeah, i have it in windows media player, but opening the blog is the easiest way to go.

needless to say, i refresh it a lot just to hear the song. hee hee.

katy, my editor-in-chief in my senior year in high school, once commented that i sing usher's "u got it bad" quite well. hehehe. i'd flatter you too, kat, but i think by now everyone knows you're a smart young lady who sings and dances and draws and paints and writes. (hmmm... i don't think she'll read this anyway, so anything i say is okay, right? =P)

and oh yeah, i used to do some rap too. hahaha. the bone thugs type ala "breakdown" with mariah. hmmm... maybe i'll practice over the summer? hehe.

i've always liked r&b. actually i think i decided on it during my music-searching days in grade six. right after everyone got over backstreet boys (haha! i'm brave enough to admit! everyone loveD them BEFORE, right? come on!).

so i was drawn to usher's music, and the cool vibe that emanates from his songs. and he's got this falsetto too, something like justin timberlake's, but i daresay usher was first! and for some reason, usher doesn't seem a litttttttle bit girly when he hits those high notes, unlike justin. well i like justin too, just tryin to be objective. if that's even possible. hehehe.

i'm glad usher made this HUGE comeback into the music scene. number 1 song, number 1 album, never mind if he broke up with chilli of TLC. and this "burn" song i really like. something like "u got it bad" if you may, and i find some meaning in it. basta. hehe.

i've come to appreciate different sorts of music over the years, and they all play randomly in my head. i like alternative and acoustic and rap and r&b right now, and they all get their time to play randomly in the jukebox that's my head. but heck, sometimes even sound of music songs (nothing comes from nothing...lonely goatheard...how do you solve a problem like mariaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!), sometimes even choir/opera-tic stuff like josh groban and charlotte church, or gospel and church tunes, and at times even the oldie oldie stuff my dad likes.

wala lang. and of course, i'm really really into jason mraz. i like how he, what do you call that (teka i'll google it), SKATs. you know, it's singing notes without using words, but just feeling the music and letting out impromptu syllables that essentially don't make sense. something like, bopadididubopdeedeedipdeedidipdididdooorararapahhhhhhhhooohlaaaa...
something like that. it's senseless right, but it sounds great (um, well maybe not my random typing of syllables).
come on, you know jason mraz right? he does the coolest skat i know. ;)



p.s.
regarding my trip home, i've decided, with the influence of brice, that it's not worth going to manila if i'll only stay for two days. nothing much i could do, and what i probably would have done in that short period of time wouldn't be worth all the stress traveling a long way from the airport and enduring the traffic, settling in my aunt and uncle's house, only to pack up after a few days. don't get me wrong, i'd love to meet my dearly-missed friends in manila, but you see, i'm pressed for time. sister wants me home for a secret surprise on the 25th. so that's it, i'm gonna take a connecting flight, on the 24th. may final outing pa pala yung bridging kids dito. sabi ni brice inuman daw. hahahaha. that guy's beginning to call me his "drunkard friend" na. hahaha. it's not true of course, eh sya ata ung lasenggero-cum-bartender eh.

anyway, i'm definitely dropping by manila in july, before coming to singapore. by that time, i'll hopefully look presentable enough and consequently more confident to show myself to my friends and relatives. seeing me now isn't such a good idea, honestly. ;)


HOMEWARD BOUND

hmmm... nothing to do now.
nothing academic at least.

i was never a good planner. i know i'll be at home by the end of the week, but i haven't decided on the details yet. today, after my last mass in singapore for the next three months and last lunch at KFC in clementi with some pinoy seniors, i almost headed to the mrt station to board an orchard-bound train to get me a ticket.

i thought it over a while beside the water fountain (not a drinking fountain!) in the town square, and realized that my lack of masterplan was plain foolish. i didn't call dad yet, when i should have, since he wants us to hike up mount apo at the end of the month, to coincide with some release of a philippine eagle into the forest. cool eh?

but anyway, i didn't know when the hike is actually scheduled, i didn't know where to store my things yet (can't keep stuff in the room unless i'm staying for the holidays), i didn't know if i was staying in manila for a few days or if i'd take a connecting flight.

so there. having stayed by the fountain for a while, scribbling notes and things to do in my small notebook, and instead of leaving for orchard, i went to the grocery NTUC fairprice, bought me a comb, and asked if they sold large cartons.

i was told to go to the manager's office, where i was led to the back area, where the empty boxes were. got 2 large cartons (you see, the storage at the F-block lounge is limited to two containers per person. no size restriction, but on an FCFS basis.)

i rode the bus carrying the cartons, and met some pinoy seniors again. i was worried that i looked like a relocated squatter or basurero in the 2 buses we rode, but nah, it was okay. sabi nga ni kuya gelo, anong masama sa basurero? hehehe. oo nga naman! so sabi ko na lang, ayoko kasi i-deny ang aking true occupation, which is a student. diba? hehe.

hmmm... now i have two large boxes in the room, a mountain of dirty clothes to dump into the soak-wash-spin washing machine, and miscellaneous clutter all around. i should be packing up soon, but right now, i just wanna surf. ;) tamad! =P

p.s.
haha! in my (usual) digression i forgot to tell you the important stuff about me being homeward bound!
i called home this evening, and kai my laughing sister wants me home on the 24th for a secret surprise. or 25th daw. so that's settled, i have to be in davao on the 25th.

i was thinking about dropping by manila to meet some people, especially the ajssers and the pisay titans, so the original plan (if it was even one) was to go there on the 22nd. it's gonna be monday in a few minutes, and i'm still unsure if i can make it out of singapura in three days. have to buy stuff pa, pack up, box stuff, transfer stuff, basta i have to do... STUFF. hmmmm.... bahala na. morning's wiser than evening, so i'm just hoping for enlightenment when i wake up. good night!

TIME TO CELEBRATE

4:24am.
the bridging kids (well, having finished the exams, we're now FINALLY Year 1 studes) just arrived from a fun and crazy night-out with tongni, our economics/statistics tutor cum ivy and korinna's major crush.

the exam finished yesterday afternoon, and we were just SO GLAAAAAAAAAD that it's all over and done. and yep, i think i did OKAY. not fantastic, but i was able to get some final answers, which is a GREAT thing in any physics exam.

i'm too sleepy right now, but major highlights were that
1) i got almost-drunk again (almost, since i never quite lost my self-consciousness)
2) I DANCED LIKE CRAZY IN THE DISCO! and i had no partner! (dance like crazy = without inhibition, but still not at par with the the caucasian and indian lovers who were sexy-dancing [muntik na ngang maghubaran] and kissing on the dance floor and on the bar tabletop)

and oh yeah. tongni is the coolest tutor in the world. he seems as if he's only 22, one of those who like to party and dance and joke around (animatedly even), but he's 29, and he's getting his Ph.D in a year's time. he's brilliant, and he's simply just a naturally good guy. ask korinna, and she'll say he's the handsomest guy in NUS. hehe.
thanks to him for the pitchers of beer (S$25 each)! haha! and for everything else, which of course, matter more than booze. i was glad i was able to do his number-one-fan korinna simple favors by asking him this and that, and taking photos and all. ;)

i'll continue this sometime else, if i'm not too busy (i have no more classes and exams, but there's always something to do =P). but now i have to sleep, so i'd wake up in time for the 10:30am mass. g'night!

SPOILT

that's it.

God knows i HATE spoilers with a passion.
two back-to-back spoilers about tv shows aired tonight.
spoilers i didn't want to hear (or see), but that's what happened.
of my current favorite shows even, survivor and american idol.
great.

AND,
kathy and john peter lewis got booted out of their respective competitions. hmph. fine.

i just watched survivor and i'm annoyed kathy didn't make it. i like kathy. i even call her kick-ass kathy, who, at 50, won a grueling physical immunity challenge against 25-year-old (half kathy's age) amber. she plays well, smart and sharp, and i sincerely think she's a good lady. yeah, she helped vote out ethan, but i forgive her for that. all part of the game. kathy was cheerful in her final words, which is a good thing! even though she admitted she was quite disappointed. no harsh words or malice still, which merits her more points in my card.

american idol is being aired RIGHT NOW. i won't watch it, though.
i guess that shows that i like survivor better than AI. but then, it's only the results show, which means the finalists won't sing tonight (well except the bottom two). i like JPL. i've always known he wouldn't be THE next american idol, but he sure was a fun guy. i didn't want him to get booted out just yet. why not diana degarmo please? oh well.

that's it. two spoilers back-to-back, and two current favorites mercilessly expelled from their respective shows.
my (tv) life can sink no lower. AND i have my physics exam tomorrow, which i'm currently struggling to study for.

walang tulugan! help me Lord!
LET THE MUSIC REMIND YOU

changed the music to "something about you" by five for fighting.
sounds familiar?

remember the swatch commercial? the one where two lovers on a bus literally get (pleasantly) stuck with each other? yep, that's the song used.

well, to my sister kai, if ever you visit here when you have free time (i know you're busy with your philippine eagle internship), may this be a HINT.

hehehe. uwi na ako in a few weeks, and i hope you give me a pleasant surprise (gift). ;)

nope, i don't want you to "buy" me a lover, i don't want a free bus ride, and i don't want five for fighting's album. think think! what could be a bigger giveaway? :D
MATH EXAM

math exam was, dunno. i thought i did okay, above average even, but i realized afterwards, during the post-exam discussion with the bridging folks, that i have quite a number of mistakes. oh well. what's over is over, and i haven't the luxury of time to worry anymore since it's time to panic for the physics exam on saturday!

well after that, i go home! yehey! and with my wallet now safely tucked in my pocket, i can buy the ticket over the weekend! wooohooo! (pardon the hysteria)

but right now, i'm gonna sleep first, flush out everything math-related out of my system, and go mugging in the science library after dinner. yowza!


HAHA!

found my wallet! yowza! ;)

went to the lounge to study, and and sat in this REALLY comfortable leather couch, and began my last minute studying. the same chair i sat in yesterday morning. i dug into the uber soft cushion, and felt my way around to see if my wallet was just stuck on the sides. it wasn't. the same conclusion i got when i checked yesterday noon.

i reached deeper and deeper, until my hand felt air. the chair had a hole under it. i stretched my arm ever so slowly, and woooooohoooooooooo. the blasted wallet was waiting for me! yippeeee!
and oh, i was doing all the aforementioned stuff discreetly, because there were other people in the lounge, and i didn't want to seem weird.

and so, when i finally -- slowly -- felt the fake black leather of my wallet lying on the dusty floor under the couch, and a sense of pleasant recognition swept through me, i just wanted to jump and laugh and do imaginary cartwheels right there in the lounge, where three guy seniors were busy reading the morning paper.

it felt like finding saddam hussein in that dark underground hole, and i wanted to proclaim to the world in the same light, "WE GOT HIM!" then there woluld be cheers and jubilation across the planet.

but of course, i just managed a small smile to myself, and i think for a second there my mouth gaped open. the other guys were too busy reading the paper to notice.

okay, 'nuff of this wasted study time. 3 hours and 55 minutes before my math exam.
self-control joseph.

yowza! (whatever that means.. haha!)
THUD

how does it feel to hit rock bottom? i'm guessing it's something like THIS.

don't ask, but yes, i lost my wallet again. and my double sim attachment to my handphone managed to even further my misery by deciding to go dead on the same day. great. just when i need to panic for my math exam tomorrow.

i didn't have much money in the wallet, unlike last time, so money's no big deal. even if, if i may clarify, i'm virtually cashless, coinless (i have a few malaysian ringgit and some philippine pesos, if you wanna count them), and broke. however, i panicked because it's the week of exams, and i need my matric card to take them. i went to the registrar's office, and thankfully, i just needed my passport or student's pass.

i plan to rush getting my plane ticket pa naman right after the exams, but now i have to get myself a new atm card from the bank and pay the charges. and yeah, my matric card costs a whopping S$17, what with its electronic door-unlocking and food-claiming and cashcard features.

and the double-sim attachment to the phone cost me S$22. now i don't get to connect with my pinoy friends and singapore friends at the same time na. AND i have to pay to have it fixed pa, if still repairable.

haaaay naku, everything seems so trivial when stated in writing. parang napakashallow.
anyway, now that i let it out na, i can now happily panic for my math test tomorrow.
CARRY OVER

i didn't finish my math tutorials last night (see previous post). i just fell asleep AGAIN.
sigh.

i really should set more realistic goals. it's always the same thing, i make this schedule (funny they pronounce it as SHe-jool here in singapore) of my study goals, not only specific to the day, but to the time even, but i always find myself "carrying over" the tasks to the next day, or the next hour. like last night. and the other night. and this other time. virtually almost every time.

i have this habit too, of bringing school stuff to do in situations where i HOPE i could study despite the fact that i have other things to do, but i always end up accomplishing nothing. last night, going to the hall for dinner, i brought 1 tutorial so i could solve "when i had free time" during the trip to the hall and back to the library. i went back to the library, and still nothing. always like that. like the time i brought a folder full of notes going to church in clementi last sunday. oh, never mind.

i would've promised right now to do three more tutorials before the sun rises (which is at around 7am here), and i have about 2 hours. but i know i can only do two at most. so that's what i'm gonna do. well if i finish more than 2, then that's just gravy.

gotta mug now. i forgave myself for being too ambitious with my goals, so i'm good now. no problem.
bukas na math exam! yeheeeeeeeeeey! (haha)
WEIRD

this day is weird. kung babae ako today, siguro it's that time of the month.

i'm not feeling too well. siguro pagod lang, but then it's not reason enough since i didn't really REALLY REALLY maximize my time studying. i sent emails, checked out other blogs, did some friendster, texted my sister and some friends. my knees hurt, my eyes hurt from the bags sagging under them. it always seems like a bad hair day, and i don't even wanna start talking about the zits. sigh.

i remember just lying down in bed this morning. i didn't feel like talking, i was just, being idle, and doing some thinking as i sandwiched my pillow between my legs. and with the crazy inflow of thoughts, i don't even remember now what on earth was i thinking that time.

i relaxed last night, as i was relieved to have finally finished the econometrics exam yesterday, but thing is, i seemed to have relaxed too much. slept at 2am doing nothing but surfing. yeah, i watched this new singapore reality dating show, eye for a guy, which stars FHM girl rachel lee, and tyra banks' america's top model, where they went to to-die-for paris. they made me feel good. but i think after a while, they made me feel a little bad. hmmm.. i wonder why.

i was in the science library the whole afternoon, studying math. the pinoys went back to the hall for dinner, and we returned right after. at 9:45pm the library closed, and i now i just arrived in my room. i thought it was gonna be a time to rest and sleep or do some more mugging, but something someone wrote in his blog irked me yet again.

great. i always sincerely believed "all's well that ends well", but that also means that "all's unwell that ends unwell".
it's 10:15pm, and i can only hope something more eventful happens in the few remaining hours of the day (though i'm not counting on it).



hmmm... in line with the idea in the last paragraph, i wouldn't wanna END this entry on a sad note. although i think i've used up my "uppers" for the day early this morning, i sure am glad i have such "daymakers" as kristia (again), who sent me a wonderful friendster message, my 2nd year high school bio teacher ma'am jemi, who emailed something nice (as always) in our yahoogroup, my dearly-missed sister who texted me about her internship at the philippine eagle center in davao.

maybe i've been listening to usher's "burn" a little too much. but really, great song. and jacko texted me yesterday about to listen to hoobastank's "the reason". another cool song. but although they're really great songs, they aren't exactly feel-good ones. oh well.

no sleeping tonight! or at least, not much. hehehe. i'm solving math tutorials, and i'm bent on finishing at least 80% before i sleep. ;)

SIXTEEN MINUTES

5:44pm.
i shouldn't be blogging YET again, since i have to study like crazy uli, so i compromise nlng. blog until 6pm lng. then la na.

5:45pm.
we had our statistics exam this afternoon! and was i PLEASED with myself as soon as 3pm struck.
you see, i was confidently answering this and that and all (well not exactly confident, pero at least i had final answers), when i realized, at 2:57pm, JUST THREE MINUTES before the end of the exam, that i got my test statistics mixed up. ayun, for the chi-squared test, would you believe i looked at the t-test table?

pero it was understandable. i was nervous. i didn't feel as nervous as i was when i did some elocution stuff in grade school, but i swear my hands were shaking uncontrollably. might be the aircon, and my rather "small" PR comm shirt. anyway..

5:49pm.
ayun, i was extremely glad i found out my error at that crucial period. grabe, the t-test value, which i mistook for the chi-square value, was 1.943. the calculated statistic was 12.5820, so that meant that i could safely reject the null hypothesis. basta. it would be too dorky to explain. hehe. (as if this isn't nerdy enough).

ayun, when i realized my mistake, i checked the right table, and the correct chi-square value was 12.5916!
imagine that! ang lapit lapit na pala.
and more importantly, the conclusion changed. dapat di na ireject ung null.

grabe, i was soooo relieved kasi that was a complicated problem. actually, not complicated = difficult, but complicated = looong arduous process! lalang. solve for this and this to get that which you use to do this and yada yada.

anyway, glad i made it just in time.

5:55pm.
pero after pala, i realized i made this stupid mistake pa rin. SAYANG talaga.
i was reminding myself not to ask other people about their answers and possible scores and all, since they may potentially diminish my self-esteem, but what the heck, everyone was discussing outside the exam hall.

ayun, i got this conditional probability question wrong. sayang!
muntik ko na tlgang makuha, except i didn't divide this by that. basta.

and what's even more annoying is that I SOLVED A SIMILAR PROBLEM IN THE MIDTERMS!
i was proud of myself then, kasi, kahit na iba ung sagot ko sa ibang bridging, it turned out tama pala!
never mind if mababa ung total score ko. haaaay, sayang tlga. i was suuuuuper close na.

5:58pm.
ayan. tumawag na si korinna for dinner.


actually, i felt okay leaving the exam hall. sabi ko, ang liit naman nun. okay lng.
i was still hoping my answer was correct, perhaps.

brice was cursing sa msn kasi mali sya sa problem na un. hehehehe. i didn't know napakagrade-conscious pala nya. but then again, he wants to take on a tough double degree course next sem, and for that you apparently must have straight A's. he estimated na what he'll get in the exams based on the mean and standard deviation of the midterm test, and he feels he's only gonna get A-.

ano na kaya ako no? hmmmm... never mind. hehehe. i think i did good today. (except for that nasayang na question though). oh well. basta i'm glad the exams are 1/3 done, and that i'll be going home in 2 weeks!

AND, kristia sent me a real nice email. THANKS krish. =)
replied din to my long-lost childhood friends sa friendster. masaya.

6:03pm.
overtime ng 3 minutes. sorry!

haha. i could never produce quality work under grave time constraints. oh well.
all for the glory of academics! yiheeeeeee.

i'll go down for dinner, then study for maths exam on thursday.

6:04pm. 4 minutes overtime.
twenty minutes pala dapat title ng post na to. oh well.

happy day!
EXAM WEEK

i shouldn't be blogging, but i think i should tell you, little bloggie and everyone else who's chanced upon my blog, that it's exam week this week, that i've screwed up my self-imposed Strict Study Sked, and that, once again, i'm going bonkers.

i'm extremely lucky to have only three modules this sem, the exams quite evenly spaced. xiaolong, a good chinese friend, told me he has 5 exams in the next 5 days. he has a one-day break in that period, but only because he has two exams in a day. that must be horrible. he's brilliant anyway (like almost every chinese student here), and i'm sure he'll make it.

i always wonder how i could screw up my study sked even if i have less exams and more time than the rest of the regular undergrads here (i'm still in a bridging course, so i'm not technically Year One yet).

anyway, here's my exam sked.

________

EC2231 - Principles of Econometrics - April 12, 2004 - 1:00pm - Gym - Seat #57

MA1306 - A Basic Mathematical Toolkit - April 15, 2004 - 1:00pm - S13-05-03/07 - Seat #20

PC1222 - Principles of Physics II - April 17, 2004 - 1:00pm - MPSH1 - Seat #471
________


sheesh. it's pathetic that i have to post my sked here. it's not even creative. haha.
and right when i should be studying, and doing something productive with my limited time!

needless to say, i won't blog too much for the next few days.
pray for me please. and all the best to everyone in NUS!

happy easter!
I'M OKAY NOW

i'm okay now, so you can ignore stuff in the previous blog. some stuff. hehehe.

i wasted almost 2 days doing nothing! i did stuff, yes, but they amount to "nothing much", so that's still closer to nothing. well at least may progress.

i shouldn't blog much, so i'm keeping this short. i should finish making my physics cheat sheet before sunrise (i'm serious), then todo banat na sa statistics.

oh yeah, i'm praying xaypanya does well in his english exam tomorrow (or later, after the sun rises ;p). brice and i were giving him a good last-minute review tonight, and i'm sincerely hoping he makes it. i even threatened him that i won't speak to him ever again if he fails this. hahaha. i didn't mean that exactly, but he's in a situation where he CAN be sent back to his home in laos FOR GOOD if he screws things up. all the best, dude. and of course, to all my bridging fellas. i'll be praying for ya.

and yes, my "daymakers" for today (those who made my day) were korinna, and two loooooooong-lost friends who i got connected in friendster! korinna gave me a thoughtful letter, which was really nice (thanks kor! i like letters!), and elisa was my classmate in grade 4 (seven years ago) and carren was my classmate in grade ONE! (TEN crazy years ago). we exchanged some good messages too today, and those made me feel good. (carren revealed in a message that she had a crush on me in grade 1! hahahaha. she's charming too, u know. too late carren! hahaha. now she's in a relationship na.;P)

and of course, JC made my day. although i missed the mass at 3pm, i read relevant verses from the bible during that time. then at 7pm, i went to church alone for the adoration. it was very nice and warm. the church was dark, lit only by candles by the altar, where the large crucifix was covered with a purple cloth. there were some songs by the choir and scripture readings. the songs were actually chants, the type that's a little eerie and intensely reflective. some were in latin too. the atmosphere was perfect, and i did feel all the more moved by JC's supreme sacrifice.

gotta study now!
SAD

i'm sad. i really don't feel like going through it, and i don't wanna talk about it in PERSON, thanks. i don't wanna talk about it AT ALL even, because this show of vulnerability is INCRIMINATING me. but make no mistake, i'm sad.

these are the stuff i better keep to myself, but God knows i never could have the diligence to write or keep a private journal in INK. i may even misplace it before i finish, only to find it when i have better things to do. so i write the blackmailable stuff here. never mind if i'm exposing a little too much of me.

i was thinking about making another blog that i'll keep uber private, but that's gonna be weird, so never mind. that'll mean i'm only gonna post "safe stuff" here. something for show. i don't want that.

maybe it's the stress that's taking its toll on my body, my brain, my spirit. maybe it's all just in my head, maybe my sanity has gradually been corroded with every STRUGGLE to study, with every irritation i feel from, um, for lack of better words, the elements around. maybe it's being away from people i care about most, those who would truly understand me. those who i know would JUST KNOW when i need comforting even without me saying anything.

yesterday i couldn't focus on studying. it's my decision, and it's okay. i need time to collect pieces of myself.

now these are the times i wish i were in the philippines.

i'm not fishing for anyone's sympathy, for God knows i don't like being pitied.
i'm pathetic enough.

sigh. sometimes i wish i'd snap out of adolescence.
i mean, the raging hormones drive me nuts sometimes.. like NOW.
and of course, who wouldn't want inactive oil glands right?
hmph. but really, sometimes, it's just fun to be young.

as the corrs say,
".. and it really doesn't matter that we don't eat,
and it really doesn't matter that we never sleep,
no it really doesn't matter, really doesn't matter at all.
'cause we are so young now, we are so young, so young now.
and when tomorrow comes, we'll just do it all again. we are so young."


and they go on to sing about young people "taking it easy and bright and breezy...livin' it up just fine and dandy...chasing the moon just running wild and free...following through every dream and every need..."


that song made me feel a teeny bit better.
but then, right now i don't feel i'm maximizing my youth.

i'm turning cynical now. or maybe i'm just brutally honest.

that's it. when i reach home, in about two weeks (YEHEY! LAPIT NA!!), i'm gonna do lotsa WORTHWHILE stuff. and i sure will tell those special people how much they unconsciously do to keep me afloat.


maybe i should just read the previous post and remind myself of the concept of jars of clay, of wasting away outwardly but being renewed inwardly. :)

_____
good friday. thanks JC.
simba pala kami mga pinoy mamaya. =)
ODD AGAIN

i feel funny. i'm not sick, maybe i'm tired, maybe i'm just lazy, but i sure am out of control.
i don't really feel like talking, or studying, or doing anything at all.
i can't seem to know what to do right now, how to set my priorities, and what some people are telling me right now just make me feel.. funnier?

yeah, it's pure nonsense. ewan. maybe i'm sad? but i was laughing like crazy last night. but that was last night pa. there's not even enough reason to be sad. hmmm.. dunno. maybe it's just the exams. yeah, maybe i'm just stressed. i sleep at around 2am lately, last night it was 3am as i helped xaypanya with his english yet again (boy i sure hope he doesn't fail his exam). yeah, it has to be the stress. and maybe it has corrupted my inner system that i find myself a little more cynical, a little more touchy, a little more sad maybe, a little more off, a little more odd.


"UPPER"

my "upper" or "feel-gooder" (pardon my word invention) right now is music by jars of clay. (you can tell by the background music, which i' ve uploaded to powerwebmusic.) it's amazing what music does, i tell you. take it from a music freak. =)

i like the concept, too, of "jars of clay".

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body." - 2 Corinthians 4: 7-11.

nice right?
a few verses after that is this cool inspirational stuff too. applicable to my present state, what with the numerous zits, the eyebags, the unmanageable hair, the stress level that's off the charts.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18.

that felt good. incidentally, survivor 2 queen tina mentioned this set of verses in her final words as she was voted off (the first one too) survivor: all stars. just peachy. wasting away outwardly, that's true. being renewed inwardly, that's cool.

it's maundy thursday. time to do some thinking and praying.
and studying of course. off to science library. or somewhere else.
HAYWIRE

this day (or yesterday, since it's horribly early right now) has gotten me on a crazy ride.

i woke up feeling odd, the way you feel when you've had one hella good dream and right when it gets exciting, you wake up. i woke up feeling denied something, whatever it was. and i think it was a dreamless sleep too. odd.

then my emotions for the day went crazy. i was glad i did this, annoyed with that, got more irked with something, felt relieved after a while, was up and giddy later, was frustrated with study work, felt satisfied doing something, felt tired, was cheerful again, was laughing and joking around again, was disappointed in something again, felt glad to have helped someone, was irritated by something else, and now, i'm sleepy and tired, and yes, feeling ODD.

if the magnitude of it all were recorded as if it were an earthquake, then my reading would be like that of a seismograph gone haywire. up down up down up down, in an erratic fashion. off the richter!

i remember tuloy "hey mama" by the black eyed peas.

hey mama/ this that sh*t that make you groove, mama/
(hey)get on the floor/ and move your booty mama/
(yaw)we the blast mastas blastin' up the drama/
(la la la la la)

then somewhere in the middle, the band, led by the girl, sings,
off the richter! off the richter! off the richter!

but of course my favorite part has to be the part i can imitate easily:
(la la la la la)
that has a pretty tune, mind you. ;)
it's impossible to describe the melody in mere words eh.


it's 2:58am and it's time to sleep.
maundy thursday na. pray tayo.

FAVORITE HANG-OUT

wow. what day is it today? wednesday na! cool.
i didn't blog for 2 days. galing. ;)

if you've noticed, i have been blogging EVERY single day for the past week.
and according to karen donceras (tama ba?) nadua, the number of blogs is directly proportional to the stress level.

i didn't believe her, but yeah, maybe.
but then again, if every day (it's two words, as my university english teacher says.. and all the while i thought one word when used as as an adverb) were a happy, "happening" day, then i would blog every day too. or if every day were way toooo boooooring, then i might as well blog too. labooo.

anyway, i'm proud of myself kasi nakapag-aral na talaga ako (i think) sa science library.
yesterday, right after breakfast, i went there, met pinoy seniors, had lunch with them, and then we all studied in one table till dinnertime, when we walked back to our halls for a while, then went back to resume studying till around 9:30pm.

the libraries here are so JAMPACKED it's amazing.
i've never seen libraries so full. and to think that i only went to science library and central library the past few days. i'm thinking the other libraries (NUS has 5 big libraries i think) and the study benches are swarming with students right now. it's revision week, you see, when classes have ended, and we all await the dreaded exams.

arthur told me that the library is full only this time, since the exams are coming. plastik daw. hehehe. sabi pa nga nya, kung gusto makita yung totoong estudyante, dapat andun sa library every day kahit walang exam. he added though, na kasali rin naman siya dun sa mga taong yun. tama! ako rin!

anyway, distraction talaga ang internet. pag uwi ko sa room, that's the end of it all. no more studying the moment i turn on my laptop. haaaay naku. anyway, i'm gonna go down for breakfast now, then go to everyone's favorite hang-out, the library. (ang nerdy pakinggan! haha)



GOOD BOY

this holy week, i promise to be a good boy. 0=)

my act of penitence: do the one thing i've always been planning to do the past weeks but never quite accomplished.
that is, as anyone may predict, to STUDY WITH A PASSION.

it's not study per se. it's studying with a PASSION.
it's studying as if the smell of my lecture notes conjured up happy memories, as if the physics formulas and test statistics were melodic chants that lead me to blissful reverie, as if my physics book were an enchanting storybook in disguise, as if gerald (keller), brian (warrack), and douglas (giancoli) were my long-lost, dearly-missed best friends.
you get the drift.

i was studying happily this afternoon, mind you, because there was no power in my room. actually, ther was no power only in the socket, so the fan was still good. the socket, however, powers up my pc. no power, no pc, no internet.
and you know very well that the internet can be a very bad thing. at least for my great study masterplans.

anyway, after a well-deserved nap, i went through chapters of my statistics, and it was all good.
at 9pm, the power went back up, and so now i digress from my studying for a while.

tonight, by hook or by crook, i'm gonna finish going through all my stats notes and making my formula/fact sheet.
the test is open book, but i know too well that open book exams are more difficult than closed-book ones.

i'm armed with two bananas, a pack of potato chips, kalamansi to make some juice, kitkat, oreo, nescafe frothe, some chocolate-flavored cereal, and glutaphos. those should be more than enough to keep me awake.

but i'm not gonna stay up too late. as much as i wanna study, zits are still one of my top concerns. ;)


_____
some guy from varsity christian fellowship just knocked on the door and offered some sweets, along with his best wishes for the exams. good people in the hall.

i'm treating myself now to haw flakes. u know those small disk-shaped sweets that are piled up together in what seems like a roll of film? saraaaaaap. or maybe i have been rather freaked out by brice's scary stories about the hall food(di yan fish! sting ray 'yan! tamo may amoy!). anyway, baka haw flakes just remind me of my good ol' childhood. =)

time to study!


p.s.
i've decided to use a jars of clay tune for my background music.
part of the holy week thing, to use some christian music. it's ambiguous actually, so you can sing it to your significant other if you're not feeling religious.
faith is ultimately a personal thing, methinks.
SELF-CONTROL

i just learned that brice and xay are done studying for the exams which will begin on the 12th. they are now just answering past year exam papers and reviewing tutorials.

hmph. nasaan na ba ako? ang layu-layo pa.
so far, i watched 3 episodes of the latest season of CSI, watched survivor clips on the survivor website, downloaded even more mp3s, downloaded the butterfly effect, read friends' blogs, blogged and surfed till the wee hours of the morning. oh yeah, i did some sleeping too.

not good, not good. now it's time for serious self-control.

please pray for me so that i could study, AND pray that i get high marks on my exams. those two are totally different. ;)


and tama, wala na yung blog wars namin ni wayne (see previous post).
or apparently, hanggang blog lng yun. at dinner with the rest of the pinoy gang, parang wala lang! normal as ever.

"bati na ba kayo?" tanong ni arthur, at natawa na lang kami.

aral na jose!
IN THE SPIRIT OF FAIRNESS

if you've read my tagalog post yesterday, here's the other side of the story, as told in his blog. it's his entry entitled "influence".
[update: he wrote a new one, in response to THIS entry right here.]

is the word "influence" really such a HUGE deal?!
i don't know, but last time i checked, it's still not synonymous to "changing the world".
i don't think it should be blown out of proportion.

i was about to write a detailed rebuttal of each argument, and even drop some bombs of my own,
but i now refuse to glorify the issue too much.
allow me a huling hirit, though.

PANGIT daw ang tag-board?
well, all i can say is, thank you sa aking mga friends na nagtatag.
for me, YOU, my dearest taggers, make the "substandard" tag-board better than any feature-rich chatterbox almost devoid of tags.

i like my tag-board, thank you very much.


p.s.
5:36pm. wow. todo na 'to. nagsasagutan kami through blogs.
in any case, i think it's a non-issue gone out of hand.

i offer my sincere apology for any wrongdoing i may have done.
but i maintain that i never DELIBERATELY influence anyone for my own self-serving reasons.

this is the last you'll here of this na. time to shut up and study.
COMMENTS WORKING NOW!

ayan, finally the comments work na.
thanks to wayne, my javascript translator and decoder.

start commenting na! on any post. that is, of course, if you feel like it.
you can send a private message din, if you want.

first one to comment gets, um, bragging rights?
as the FIRST ONE TO COMMENT. how's that? ;)

nah, just comment if you wanna.


SURVIVOR SCHMUCK

they voted jerri off!! just when she was growing on me.
previously they voted off ethan, then before that colby, the two "good guys".

maybe voting off jerri is the smart way to go, when you REALLY think about it, but it's just a little sucky that i was actually beginning to like her! hmph. she didn't even feel any resentment towards those who gave her the boot. she says she has become a stronger woman, and that she was proud of herself for keeping herself together despite the overwhelming odds. (what with rupert's stupidly-built shelter right?)

anyway, maybe because it's because i'm beginning to dislike amber for hooking up with that egocentric, cocky, backstabbing boston rob. remember what he did to rob c? after their handshake?

anyway, kathy voted off ethan too, when she seemed to be quite sympathetic to him, and i dislike her a teeny bit for that.

and LEX, my goodness. i dunno what to say.
maybe he's making the smart moves for voting off his alpha-male threats, colby (who was totally blindsided) and ethan (who lex claims to be his friend, but who he must vote off since it's "strictly business").

but look where that got mogo-mogo (now chapera)? they're miserably losing in challenges due to the lack of "man"-power, resulting in a low tribe morale, and it's simply just not fun anymore in their part of the island.

anyway, at least ethan, and colby went out of the game with dignity and MY respect, and jerri, with her i've-become-a-stronger-woman almost-spiritual speech redeemed herself. (i view the survivor insider videos on cbs.com/survivor , you see, to view unaired, complete clips and more)


i realized something again. that i feel sympathy for the underdog.
i remember distinctly, that jerri was receiving collective hate from survivor 2 viewers, who essentially called her a f*cking b*tch.
now i feel for her, never mind if she wanted colby out.
and of course, who wouldn't like ethan the humble winner and colby the unresentful-after-being-blindsided one?

now i wanna see how amber keeps her promises to the chapera tribe, now that they saved her pretty ass. and it's gonna be interesting too, to see if boston rob is actually capable of keeping his promise to lex.

i think you can see that i'm a survivor schmuck. proud of it too.
THIS IS MY SHOW

haha. my previous post, the tagalog one, reminded me of this ad on the abs-cbn new channel, for the show "strictly politics".

it's a no-nonsense, hard-hitting show, that's well, strictly politics.
the show guests top newsmakers in the political scene, and they engage in serious talk and debates about the hottest issues related to politicians, governance, corruption and the like.

i don't watch the show, but i know they guest VIP politicos, and you know how it is with them. they want to look good and perfect all the time to the people, and that they would defend their side of the story no matter what, perhaps to the point of even ditching the host to the sidelines.

anyway, the female host, pia hontiveros, in an actual clip from the show, which they used in the ad, was holding her ground against politicos hogging the spotlight.

"EXCUSE ME, BUT THIS IS MY SHOW."


asteeeeeeeeeeeeeg.

well if the previous post isn't too reader-friendly, well, this is my blog. ;)
i hope that didn't sound too mean. hehehe.
WALANG MALISYA

ako po ay magtatagalog ngayon. wala lang, trip lang ng aking naiinis na kalooban.
wala lang!
ganun ka-simple.

naiinis ako at nilalagyan ng malisya ng isang tao ang aking mga sinabi.

nakakabadtrip. nakakasira ng gabi. mag-aaral pa naman sana ako, gaya ng ginawa ko kaninang hapon sa silid-aralan ng aming bulwagan.

nakatanggap kasi kami ng e-mail mula sa JCRC ng aming hall na nagsasabing pwede kaming magtambak ng gamit sa isang silid para sa nalalapit na bakasyon. ang lagay kasi nito, namomroblema ang marami sa amin sapagkat hindi namin malaman kung saan pwede panandaliang ilagay ang mga gamit sa bakasyon bago umuwi sa aming sariling bansa. hindi naman praktikal na iuwi lahat ng gamit, hindi ba?

ayun, nakasaad sa e-mail na dalawang lalagyan lamang ang ilalaan para sa isang tao, at lubhang kukulangin pa rin iyon para sa akin. minensahe ko si * sa msn upang itanong kung pwede bang irehistro sa kanyang pangalan ang natitira ko pang gamit. tutal, di naman daw nya gagamitin iyong inaalok sa silid-tambakan (haha, tama ba?) dahil makikihati na lamang siya sa kwarto ng aming mga kapwa pinoy na mananatili sa KE7 Hall sa malaking bahagi ng bakasyon.

noong minensahe ko sya, sinabi nyang nagbago ang kanyang isip, at magtatambak na diumano sya sa inaalok na silid (na mas malapit sa kanyang lilipatan na kwarto sa susunod na semestre) nang hindi gaanong mapuno ang silid ng aming mga pinoy seniors na mananatili dito.

...
j: "ok! mas malapit pa"
*: "iyan, you're trying to get credit na naman"
j: "ha? di ko gets"
*: "...saka mas malapit pa..."
j: "anong trying to get credit dun?!"
*: "siyempre kailangan yung mga decisions ko affected by what you said kanina"
j: "sinasabi ko lng ung perks ng pagstore mo sa f lounge"
*: "sabi mo eh. sige."
j: "di ko naman gustong iinfluence ung decision mo.
haaay naku, sige."
*: "hindi ko sinabi iyon eh na gusto mo pero you always try to connect things na parang you influence all people"
j: "what da fart?!"
*: "tama na"
j: "iblog mo nlng.
save mo log ng conversation na to. ianalyse mong mabuti. analyse ko rin. gudnyt."


iyan, you're trying to get credit na naman.
...you always try to connect things na parang you influence all people.


ewan ko ba, pero sobrang nainis ako sa nasabi nyang iyan.

marahil mababaw na siguro ako, pero pucha, ano bang masama sa sinabi ko?
naiinis ako pag binabahiran ng kung anong kahulugan ang mga sinasabi ko.
oo nga't minsan ay may mas malalim na ibig iparating ng aking mga sinasabi, pero mas madalas naman na kapag may nagsalita ako, iyon at IYON na talaga ang aking ibig sabihin.
lagyan pa ba ng malisya?!

sa tingin ko naman ay hindi pa naman ako ganoon ka kulang-sa-pansin at naghahanap ng credit lagi ano? at lalong lalo namang hindi ko "kinokonek ang mga bagay-bagay para impluwensyahin ang lahat ng tao."

marahil ay wala na ito bukas makalawa, pero sa sandaling ito, ako ay talagang naiirita.
makapag-aral na nga. buti na lang at survivor mamaya. tiyak mawawala 'to.

bow.


APRIL FOOLS

i sure am glad today is april fools' day.

no i don't think it's a day so festive and colorful i'd go running around naked in the well-leaf-vacuumed roads of NUS, but this day is more than enough reason to suspend belief, the perfect excuse to dismiss stuff i don't really want to know.

tuk said over dinner that she was dieting, brice teased that she didn't need to, as she's cute the way she is, and tuk responds by saying it's april fools'. diana says ivy came to her room and asked if she(diana) could accompany her to the abortion room in NUH (nat'l univ hospital). diana was getting herself dressed, when ivy says it's april fools.

well today fate has been joking, and it seemed as if i was its favorite target.
but it's okay. because it's april fools'.

p.s.
ivy and korinna's supposed joke on me backfired on them, so that went good. haha!

NO COMMENTS SECTION YET, BUT THE MUSIC'S BACK

i know some of you are going, "oh nooooooooo!"

yeah, i know the music can be annoying (especially if you visit this site way too frequently! haha.. assuming), but what the heck. (okay, i admit, i get annoyed sometimes, but only because i change stuff and preview and preview and check the blog for tags frequently.)

just click the stop music link, or just turn off your speakers, ayt?

i swear, they should give me an award at powerwebmusic. i've uploaded way too many songs already! from jason mraz to toploader to d'sound to sugar ray to don mclean to third eye blind and a few others, and now, matchbox twenty. that's the way i like it, if i don't find a song i like, then i upload from my pc! =P
proud to be an mp3 addict, thank you very much.

buti na lang there are a bunch of tasteful people din dun who upload good songs, i.e. songs that i like, so i wouldn't have to upload all my favorites dun.

anyway, this one's a rare acoustic version of "push" by matchbox twenty (not the numerical "20" anymore says the band, for some reason). hope ya like it. \m/

tama, i just realized. i have this thing pala for remixes (especially involving rap) and live acoustic versions. just thinking aloud.

the commenting section i still can't figure out, but never mind.

and ooooooooh. the tagboard is now a CHATterbox! do i mind? hmmm... nah.
tag and flood if you want. the appropriate kind though. =)

exams na lang!! then i'm off to da republika ng pilipinas. yiheeeeee.
malabo na yata akong makasama dun sa thailand getaway ng mga pinoy dito in may, but i'm not complaining.
4 more years pa ko dito eh. dunno if that's a good thing, but i know that's more than enough time for me to travel around little southeast asia. =)