Mr. Brightside

"If anything," Sgt. Pepper was telling me earlier tonight, "this whole experience has taught me to appreciate myself more, to find solace in solitude, to hang on to those to whom I matter, to take more notice of what I am capable of (never mind whatever else), and to be more keenly aware of the presence of God."

Well said. Your rainy days will just be miserable if you don't find anything to be joyful and thankful for, really. I wish you happy days, Sgt. Pepper.

Ma sent me an email to say, among a few other things, that my granduncle Lolo Gario passed away a few days ago. He and his brother, my own grandfather Lolo Yoyong, who had passed away in 2001, were very close, and they had nothing but the fondest memories of each other. Mama was saying that she could imagine them having a good time in heaven right about now, and I guess that's the way to look at it.

I visited Lolo Gario in my short trip to the Philippines in December. He lived an hour away from my Davao City, and their extended home was most accommodating to me and my grandma. He was not in good health, though; he had then just suffered a stroke, he was thin, his speech had turned mostly unintelligible.

(Photo: [counterclockwise] Lolo Gario, his sister Lola Ime, his grandson and my cousin Tyron, Lola Gloria his wife, and my Lola Doding)

We were never really close, really. I seldom met him. But he was family, he had this peculiar familial warmth about him when we met, and I can't help but be a bit sad. Say hi to Lolo Yoyong for me, Lolo Gario. :)

Sgt. Pepper

I was walking one night when a little man called me.

"I've been following you around. Fix me, I'm broken," he said.

And that's how I met Sgt. Pepper.

Shut Up and Smile Pt. 1

It's been an incredibly exhausting week, and I'm beginning to feel the stress of taking 6 modules (5 of which are level 3000, and thus far, one of them has stunned me and left me gaping in horror at my sheer empty-headedness), being an editor for The Ridge and in-charge of lugging around brand new Ridge stands, and being NUS Choir Secretary and head of marketing for our upcoming concert.

I won't detail those here, and I feel what deserve a blog post are the bright sparks and good news of the past week.

Let's start with the most recent. Korinna's birthday on Monday cheered me up. 21 is a big step if you ask me (a scary one too), and I felt that this particular birthday deserved special attention. I don't usually give gifts to people (maybe because I can be a real cheapskate), but for Korinna I knew just what to give her, one that was free too.

See, Korinna is this pretty girl who performed for this NUS Rag Day 2005 for Kent Ridge Hall (Rag Day is a colorful event of big floats and costumes and dances), and this got her face plastered in the official NUS Centennial Roving Exhibition poster, among other Centennial celebrations publicity materials. In the Med Library where I frequently use the computers, I have, for the longest time, been eyeing this A3-size Centennial poster just above the PC terminals, and knew that Kor would want to have it. I never quite had the guts to ask the librarian for the poster, until last Sunday. I waited for the place to clear up when closing time that afternoon neared, and waited for a librarian to come by and tidy the PC cluster. Her first response was that sorry, she cannot give the poster because it was NUS, not the Med Lib, who installed the poster in the first place. It was an official NUS poster after all. I mentioned that I needed it for a friend, and she still refused, citing the same reason. I almost gave up but pressed on, saying that the poster was more than a year out-of-date, and my friend (I pointed to Korinna in her confident pose in the poster) was celebrating her birthday. She finally relented, and yahoo I went back with the poster in hand, never mind if the top and bottom parts were a bit spoilt by the masking tape used to stick it.

Anyway to make a long story short, I could tell Kor appreciated it, and even mentioned that her Dad would probably have it framed even. :) And, after reading Korinna's blog, I'm just mighty glad that I had some degree of participation in making a turnaround from what she initially thought was her "worst birthday ever". She's happy. I'm happy too for contributing to that. Plus I had free lunch too. Hehe.

* * *

OK, I'm suddenly busy again. I'll carry on with Part 2 of this post next time.

And oh, the title is this cool fun song by Bowling for Soup. Another line in the song goes, All we need is an ice cream and a hug. Well said you punk rockers.=)

Happiness

Happiness is feeling the presence of friends and family, no matter the means or proximity.

It's knowing you matter to those who matter to you, and forgetting to care for those who don't reciprocate.

Happy days ahead. And clubbing therapy tonight, too. Yeah baby.

The Boat is Sinking

To describe what I'm feeling now, maybe I can refer you to the Beatles' classic Yesterday. I dunno what's gotten into me, really, but it's this lingering sort of melancholy, too diffuse I can't quite pin it down and give it a name or attribute it to something I can fix.

I can tell you a few things though. That I'm lonely (then again maybe it's just the weather). That I feel others don't respect me as much they used to (if they even did so at all). I don't think people treat me seriously. That I am stressed (what's new, those of you who know me may ask), as this is the heaviest semester of all my almost 4 years here in NUS. And then some.

Add all of them up and you have me -- a Joseph who's constantly carrying some sort of weight on his chest. I sure hope this is not depression, especially that of the clinical sort.

OK bye.


P.S. I may have to rethink my privacy settings with this increasingly personal tone of my rather embarrassing posts.

New Year, New Me, and a New Blog

This year is gonna see a new and improved Joseph. I've started doing some "housekeeping" on several levels (the literal sort I did last night, although I can't figure out how to rearrange my shelves and tables), and Project New Joseph is kicking off. The transition's more bumpy than I thought, but it's there, it's on its way.

There's a new Blogger/Blogspot too. It's so much easier and more user-friendly. New blog template, really, not exactly a new blog. It's one of those templates prepared by Blogger itself, so it's not as customized as the previous ones. Well, new sem has kicked off too, and Joseph hasn't got much time. But there's a new name, though. Not sure I like it too much, but, between you and me, Joseph has really been talking to himself lately. I think it's fine, really, although I can reveal that he's not in the cheerfulest of moods right about now. Maybe it's the weather.

He's gonna be talking a bit more to himself through this blog, though, of that he's sure. Some people don't quite get him and think him weird, so while he still interacts with people who understand and those who don't, he has decided to blog more, if only to save his sanity.

And oh yeah, you might have guessed so, but lately Joseph doesn't quite distinguish between "he" and "I". While this may be bad in an English essay, in a conversation with self it is absolutely fine.

Good night.

Must-Blog

Must-Blog

Hi. I'm back in Singapore, and as much as the holidays in the Philippines were eventful, I didn't feel the need to blog them (or maybe because Internet was slow because of the Taiwan earthquake). Whether I blog the events or not doesn't mean anything anyway, in this time when the significant and the mundane can be given equal blog treatment. About my holidays, suffice it to say that it had been one of my happiest, really--at least that's what I told my friends in my high school reunion. I meant it too; after the chaos that was last semester (and the sem before that), being home laughing and going out and staying in and spending time with those who matter to me was a divine treat.

I'm too busy right now really, and yes I shouldn't be blogging, but I distinctly promised myself this morning to blog tonight.

This is what I want to say: I miss the Philippines and the warmth that my dear family and friends bring. Singapore is only warmer because it's closer to the equator.

I shouldn't be negative and pessimistic, really, but maybe it's the potent combination of work and stress and schoolwork and extracurriculars and fresh-away-from-home-ness so early in the semester and year that's gotten into me.

Whatever it is, I felt the need to blog tonight, and I did. It feels good to let it out.


And oh yeah, thanks Karen for saving me a trip to the shrink. Teehee. Thanks for listening too Xianling--I appreciate it a lot. And haha, I caught you online again, Kerwin.. and you're too happy!:) Take care you guys.