Lost

Firstly, I think there's something wrong with working in the Statistics lab at 4:31AM, and worse, for only a part-time research assistant job, and even worse, right smack during reading week, the week before the final exams. My final final exams too.

But that's that, I'm here, and while the two programs (R and Microsoft Access) are still running, processing millions of high-frequency observations to obtain a set of financial volatility series, I think I might as well blog. I'm sleepy already, despite the coffee from my $6(!!) breakfast set meal at NUH (hello Cedric, Paul, and Paul's invisible friend), but I plan to stay up and wrap this up, or at least feed the codes into the computer, before I go home, and come back to report to Dr Chen later at 10am.

Hopefully, too, this blog post won't suffer the fate of the rest of my unfinished entries, which are currently still set aside as drafts.


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I LOST MY PHONE YESTERDAY. And it sucks. Major bummer, man.

It's sad, more than anything. I didn't realise how much I actually depended on it until it was gone. Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone? sings Joni Mitchell, or Janet Jackson, or the Counting Crows, depending on your music generation.

Seriously, my phone was my watch, my alarm clock, my mp3 player, my radio, my camera, my link to friends! Sigh. I was studying at the forum today with a few Filipino friends and I'm like, hmmm how long have I studied now... and then bam, no phone to tell me the time! I even went to part-time job at SELF 45 minutes early! Because I didn't know how to tell 15 minutes from 40 minutes.. so I thought I might as well play safe and not be late. Zzzz.


Oh, I sleep with my phone beside me, too, because the alarm doesn't wake me up otherwise. So Cedric suggested I better look for a girl instead to make up for the phone. Lol. Good point.

I lost it yesterday, on my way to Mass. I know for sure it was during the trip to Church la, 'cos I had my earphones on and listening to my favorite weekend radio show 987 Stripped, which plays stripped down acoustic tracks of popular tunes. I boarded two buses, and on each occasion I removed the earphones momentarily to chitchat with Brice (on Bus A2), and with Mega (on Bus 151). It wasn't until the Communion that I realised my pocket felt a bit lighter, and that's that.

I was jogging with Visayon at West Coast Park at around 11PM afterwards, and he said for a guy who's just lost his phone, I seem very calm. I guess that's what happens when you have A Series of Unfortunate Events, and you realise that whining so much is tiring and isn't much fun. I still whine la, but it's more subdued, and with a tinge of acceptance and resignation .


I don't remember who I said this too (yes still too many whining episodes!), but I said that for a change, I'll try whining to inanimate objects. Whining to people may do me a bit of good, but I'm not sure it does them any. At least inanimate objects don't complain. Maybe I'll whine to a tree sometime. Then again a tree is not inanimate -- or is it? (Time for Dictionary.com!) Whatever la.


So yeah, that's that. No phone. I went to the possible places I dropped it, even checked the Church vicinity, I called the bus terminal, no nothing. The phone is still ringing though, no one picking up -- which may be worse actually than if someone did.


But oh well, life's like that.



* * *


And the phone isn't the only thing I lost too. Sigh. Stupid boy la you, Jose.


I lost my keys some three weeks ago. Two keys specifically, hostel room key and the key I use for my part-time job here at SELF. I managed to survive the past few weeks though, thanks to some silly arrangements I had to take.


Hostel room key lost, that's not a big problem because I have a roommate. Thank God Derek likes to spend much of his time in the room, playing computer games all day (and he's a genius, so it doesn't hurt his grades!). What's just weird is that, I can't leave the room if he's not in (because I can't lock the door without the key), and so sometimes I force myself to leave the room when he does, even if it requires me to rush shower brush teeth wash face in 10minutes or less cos he has class.


SELF key is OK too, since I have three other fellow student assistants who have the same key. It's a little troublesome, but that's that.


* * *


I lost my organiser too. My nice sexy blue organiser, which I had for more than a year now, and whose pages I freshly replenished with those refills. Sigh. All my nice dynamic (read: flexible) schedules and deadlines are there too.


* * *


Lost the pencil box too, with my pens and highlighters and correction tape, stapler etc. Again, a bummer, but I can't say it came as a surprise.


* * *


I'm tempted to launch into a discourse on the spectrum of meanings of the word 'lost' and 'lose'. Consider "lose yourself" (is this a prerequisite to "finding yourself"? and what exactly do they mean anyway?), the mush in both "lost without you" and "lost in you", the wit in the Anger Management (2003) quote, "Temper's the one thing you can't get rid of by losing it," and of course, the word "loser", and the irony in the title of the TV show "The Biggest Loser", etc.


But anyway, I'm tired, and lazy, and don't really feel like talking crap too much.


* * *


It really is kind of dumb to lose so many things. The Devil (Jin) himself implied that this losing stuff is quite irresponsible for someone who's 22. I hate to admit it, but it's true.


Oh well, life's like that: we lose things all the time -- if only to remind us which are worth keeping, and which aren't.