At times I do believe I am strong

... so someone tell me
why, why, why
do I, I, I
feel stupid?

Apparently, Matchbox Twenty's Mad Season is quite the anthem during this time of the season --- or any season for that matter. I can even pick a random line that's resonant to me one way or another. Dunno if that's a good thing.

Whether it's

You figured me out that, I'm lost and I'm hopeless

or

I feel stupid, but I know it won't last for long
And I've been guessing and I could have been guessing wrong

or

I feel stupid, but it's something that comes and goes
And I've been changing, I think it's funny how no one knows

or

I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken
I come undone

Some pretty self-smacking stuff. But I dunno, call me weird, but I think it's good to lambaste yourself once in a while -- helps keep you grounded, gives you a reality check, and well, gives you a heads-up of how much you suck sometimes.

Then again,

Now I'm cryin', isn't that what you want?
I'm tryin' to live my life on my own -- but I won't

and

So, why ya gotta stand there looking like the answer now?
It seems to me you'll come around


suggest that maybe it's a call?

I need you now, do you think you can cope?

a direct cry for help, even?

So are you gonna stand there, are you gonna help me out?
We need to be together now.

Anyway, my favorite lines are still those that I wish were slightly more relevant.

I feel stupid, but I think I been catchin' on
I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on


Whatever la, this is some sick warped version of Joseph blogging, don't take him seriously. He's whiney and emo and a doormat. Not as much fun as the real normal Joseph, who's supposedly engaged in tackling the complexities of financial time series as I type. One exam down, three more to go, and it's the end of the my University days.

Yeah, at times I do believe I am strong. Definitely. Invincible even.

Not today.