For no apparent reason

Goooood morning blogosphere. Feels good to be back after two months!

This time it will be different; no (empty) promises of sticking around and blogging more regularly, no long journal entries that are overthought and sanitized as if they were articles. Then again, that promise to be 'different' I'm also not sure I can keep. Haha.

Plan for this entry is to for me to let the fingers do the thinking and typing (thanks for the reminder I don't type too slow after all) and click that "Publish Post" button and get a blog entry done and over with. In short, plan is to get some rambling done today, for no apparent reason.

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I want to blog today about how thankful I am with the world I'm in right now. I don't know, it's a feeling that's a mix of serenity, what's left of teenage angst (haha yep and I'm three years into the twenties!), quite a lot of satisfaction with work and that thing that good people that surround you -- family friends colleagues random smiley strangers and aunties (I'm friendly with them lol) -- do to you.

I don't know. Maybe it's the feeling of not having documented my life for a long time. For not marking events and people and places with imaginary mental yellow and red markers (ala The Amazing Race) that are supposed to track the (I hesitate to use the word 'milestones') progress I've made thus far, twenty-three trips around the sun and counting.

Maybe it's the feeling too of having missed what I term my 'new years', and not having been made enough traction on the resolutions I had planned. New Year Number 1 is New Year's Day, and that's supposed to set the stage for the legendary (Hello Barney of How I Met Your Mother) changes I'm supposed to make. Supposed to. I procrastinated and hey, there's New Year Number 2.

That's Chinese New Year, which was sometime in late January. What I realize is it's too incredibly easy to get sucked up with whatever one is doing and there's just not enough time to step back, and take a look back at the tracks. And so there's New Year Number 3, my birthday early February. That again, seemed like a good place to start afresh.

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The thing with me is always go on false starts. But the thought is there, the resolve is there, it's just... lacking perhaps. Start what, exactly? I'm not too sure myself. Haha. It's a lot, actually, and it's the stuff I miss.

I miss writing. I miss reading. The big secret about me being an ex-editor and an English Studies minor is that I am not actually well-read (I mistook Hamlet for Macbeth in my literature class-- now I still think twice which is which). Little me was quite a library boy too. I miss that. I miss making music. I went for the choir concert last week and I remember the sheer beauty of making one incredible chord, never mind if mine occasionally was the shaky one buried beneath 70 other voices. Oh and Cecilia offered to sell me her keyboard. Tempting tempting! I haven't played the piano in the longest time. But if I buy it, can I sustain it? Oh and I miss blogging, if this long-winded aimless entry is any proof.

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Also I want to articulate somehow how thankful I am because I find myself lucky. My boss doesn't hate me for almost dozing off in his team meetings, he even finds it amusing. (Never again boss, I'm sorry) I'm lucky I'm learning a lot of things from my job, including being patient and thorough and how to relate with people. And how different it is at work now, compared to the stress levels I hit last year in school (what with the thesis, level four modules, final semester blues). Oh and I haven't been axed yet, and I still get a bonus too even if I haven't worked for a full year, so yay to that.

And my friends lah. My housemates and Pinoy friends, my MSN and Yahoo! and Facebook buddies (I'm beginning to love chatting online again), choir friends, my colleagues at work. And family, needless to say, I miss you at home. Oh the Titans musta naman kayo jan? Haha. And hmmmm you. When will I find you? Haha hurry up and get here!

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I should jog more often in the morning. These were the thoughts in my head as I was running 5.4km with myself around six in the morning yesterday, along with some older uncles and aunties (the younger jogging crowd opt for evenings if I'm not wrong) and quite a few dogs being walked by their owners.


Exhilarating feeling. Especially when the sun rises to greet you as you end your run, and Stereophonics' Have a Nice Day randomly plays in your earphones.

Have a nice day people, and good night.