It's a March thing I think. Must be the March weather or something and my genetic make-up not compatible with the workings of the cosmos at this time of the year. Yeah, whatever right.
Relax, relax, relax Joe. Chill. But dunno, know the feeling where there's something stuck in your back and you can't shake it off? I was thinking maybe a massage or a jog or a swim will do the trick.
Until then, I can't help myself, whine begins now. It's just that everything's happening so fast and suddenly this and that and I'm mentally and physically and emotionally exhausted. It's the work piling up and my team still being understaffed despite efforts to hire, it's my colleague leaving and making me feel sad (though thanks for the doughnuts and for being very nice to me and taking my crap :D), it's another colleague getting PMS-y about office politics, it's conversations that momentarily stirred me up into a fit (but thank God it's over and peacefully settled), it's a money thing, it's a little personal problem thing, it's a good intentions thing, and even my good friend being retrenched and another feeling emo and another who feels disgusted with self and yet another who's not too happy with the outcomes of the world. (I don't know why other people affect me so much, I think it comes with my Superman Syndrome, and that's not quite a good thing sometimes.)
* * *
So strange. I was perfectly fine Friday and Saturday. Went Harry's, went clubbing even and had lunches and dinners and movie with friends and even met guests from home and got my favourite chunk of cheese from home. Hmm.
I think it's the build-up of stuff over the weeks. For the past month I've been having restless nights and strange dreams about me getting beaten up, about death in general, about my own death, about church, about hook-ups, about road trips, about the beach, about people dear to me, about people I haven't met in a while, about chance encounters and beautiful strangers, about credit cards modeling even.
* * *
Oh man, maybe it's the lack of sleep and physical fatigue. Hopefully it's just that. And what was going through my head as I experience all this is -- this is very much like last year. When my honours year project got me into an emo phase, and I got worked up perhaps more than I should have.
But we learn right. We learn from the past and make things better. Sometimes no way to learn but to just take the plunge and get smacked and whacked hard.
Anyway here's a happy song to cheer anyone else with the March blues.
It's the wind blowing free,
It's the end of the slope,
It's a beam, it's a void,
It's a hunch, it's a hope
And the river bank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the end of the strain,
It's the joy in your heart
It's the end of the slope,
It's a beam, it's a void,
It's a hunch, it's a hope
And the river bank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the end of the strain,
It's the joy in your heart
Night.
3 comments:
Everyone has biorhythms. The lows do sometimes come unexpectedly! The practical response seems to start with acceptance, linger with healthy distraction or recreation, but proceed with proactivity. Your inner strength you'll find in God's presence, Who will always see you through. We always pray for you, Partner.
it's the weaaather. damn rains. must be because of all the karaoke. haha.
Know what I do when I get the blues? 1)Take my camera and walk in the woods or bushes, 2)Slowly read I Cor.13, or 3)Visit a cemetery (not always a memorial park). Re the latter, my companions/soul mates are Jessica Lang and Michael Douglas! Wish you good coping!
Post a Comment