Found and Lost again

I found my lost tickets! Yey. Thanks for the concern everyone, thanks to Johni for helping me locate the missing file, and to my dear Ma and Dad for sending me encouraging messages via SMS or email. Thanks too to those who just knew and trusted that I would find the tickets. Sometimes I worry too much and don't trust enough.

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Sometimes too I trust too much. I don't know whether this is just me being overacting and emo, but it sucks when one is disillusioned -- whether it's a belief in self, a belief in something or someone or a belief in those lofty intangibles like friendship and love and family.

It's pretty mundane, really, and it's not worth posting here. *Joseph thinks twice whether to mention it or not and decides he's saying it regardless* It's about hotel room assignment in the choir competition in Pattaya, Thailand in July. This morning, we had to choose our roommates as there would be four persons sharing a room.

I thought I had considered this small group of basses to be my good friends over the past year/s, and I had naturally thought I'd be sharing a room with them. After all, four is quite a big number and there's a lot of leeway.

Oh well, suffice it to say I have still yet to find my roommates.

Anybody from choir who reads this don't mention it to them basses OK.

Maybe it's a good thing too. It's time we all get disillusioned, really, to allow us to view reality in sharp detail. I'm not friendless anyway. Besides, why should I be surprised really? This has happened so many times to me before, even before Choir, even before Singapore.

Also, I've been too high-strung and irritable lately because of the work I have to do for my extra-curriculars and school, so maybe I haven't been much fun company, and yeah, sometimes I even feel I should detach myself from the world so I don't spread my misery.

Still I feel that, precisely because of the sorry state I'm in, that I need my friends the most. That's why I thoroughly appreciate my other friends now, and of course my family, even if you all are thousands of miles away.

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Financial mathematics has this ability to make me feel stupid. I'm making progress, yes, but Monday is nearing so quickly, I'm not sure I have enough energy and happy thoughts and brain reserves in my knapsack to keep me going.

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I met Sgt. Pepper today again. He was reaching for his back with his fingers.

"I'm massaging myself," he said. "Nobody would do it for me otherwise."

I offered him a bar of Cadbury chocolate (The Gift of Happiness, said the box of 8 bars), and some Ferrero Rocher. It was all good and yummy, until we ran out.