ODD

hello again. it's 12:21 am, and i think this should still be counted as yesterday's blog... i mean, january17... you know what i mean.

i don't feel like writing a theme-inspired blog for today or anything too well-thought-out.

i'm feeling a little tired. hmm... maybe a little too tired.

hmmm... so let me see.. let me reflect on my day.

i woke up at 8:45, had breakfast at 9am as usual (for this past week),
went up, surfed awhile, was invited to lunch at 1pm with wayne dell and kor and ibs, had to bargain for 1:10pm because pacey suddenly couldn't come with me and xiaolong to clementi to buy the materials for the pr comm project, and i had to get the map and get the money from his room AFTER having lunch at the arts canteen, walked up the shepherd's path to the science bus stop, met up with xiaolong, went to clementi, bought some cardboard and cloth and tracing paper and mahjong paper and thread and black papers, went to NTUC as xiaolong had to buy food to store for the chinese new year on thursday 22/1, went back, had dinner with wayne dell and korinna and ivy and the rest of the bridging kids and friends, came back up to my room, surfed awhile, turned off the computer, read "like water for chocolate" for awhile, couldn't resist the urge and had to turn on the computer again.. and here i am once again in front of the pc when i should be sleeping already.

hmmm... that seems like an awful lot of things right? makes me even tired just reading it.
but then again, those aren't really the highlights of my day.

i feel a little odd because of someone i texted (or SMS for the non-pinoy folk), because of... things.
things that aren't to be broadcast in a blog.
but whatever it was, it made me feel odd.

odd is one of my favorite words.
it sounds odd, too, when you think about it.
it doesn't sound nice, but it isn't horrible-sounding either.
in fact, it sounds a little sad. a little melancholic.
or maybe i'm just too sleepy and out of my wits at 12:35 am.

anyway, i feel odd.
it's odd too, that i just read korinna's blog and i feel.. odd.
she seems happy and cheerful always, but it turns out that i just simply couldn't spot the times when she's not feeling too well. case in point: last night.
heck, i don't even remember what i did.

it makes me feel...odd.
or maybe it's because of the book i'm reading.
"like water for chocolate" by laura esquivel.
it's a "delectable" read, if you please, about a young Mexican (?) lady who loves to cook exotic dishes that stimulate the wildest emotions,the lady who literally causes floods of tears, who is torn between loving the man she used to desire despite her mother's disapproval of her marriage to anyone, or the doctor she has grown to love in her time of distress.
no. don't receive that type of description. it doesn't give justice to the book.
it's a romance novel all right, with mexican recipes interspersed in the text.
it is simply charming, since it has the barrio feel, with a surreal atmosphere, and some sensuality.

argh. look at my english. it has degenerated! i'm sorry i'm not at my sharpest right now.. i'm feeling a little bit... ODD.

the story of Tita, the name of the lead character, is, more than anything, about frustrated love.
it's sad actually, and perhaps that's the reason i'm feeling a little strange right now.

maybe i'm a little sad. i don't know why.

perhaps i've perfected the art of thespians. of actors.
when i was with xiaolong awhile ago for a good 3 hours too, from 2:30 to 5:30pm,
i did have a good time. xiaolong's such a kind fellow, a brainy one too, a scholar from mainland China, who is genuinely fun to talk with.
when i was with wayne, ivy, korinna, awhile ago, we found ourselves laughing about the mundanest things, about tv, about anything that could possibly be talked about.

sometimes i think i can project myself differently from what i feel, but at times, people can detect something's not too right. apparently, people detect it rarely now, and nobody caught me today, when i was feeling a little sad.

hmmm... did i just use the word "sad"?
i was planning to use the word "odd". because that's what it is, ODD.

i hope i haven't become the best-acting hypocrite around, but it sure is odd that
part of me can be happy and can be sad at the same time.
perhaps consciously, i was doing fine and well and wonderful, but inside,
when i remember about THINGS later on (or maybe right now at 12:58am), i realize that
i was subconsciously sad all along.

it's like running a race, you run and run and might probably win the 400-meter dash.. and then
later, after the game, you realize that you've been sporting a bruised leg all along.
and the sting is more pronounced as you remember that you had the bruise at all.

there goes my phone. it's a message from cyril.. quite unexpected actually.
there. i'm smiling once again. he's actually willing to snail mail me, korinna and ibiang.
hahahaha. i think i'll reply using chikka right now.

where was i? hmmm... i think this blog is getting odder by the minute, so i suggest you patch whatever random ramblings i typed here till you come up with something that's um... less odd.

good night!

p.s.
i promise to write something more cheerful next time!
and oh, check out the photos! i spent HOURS on them at noon today!
thank you photobucket! hehehehe.