Ahh yes.. hell week has come. Two killer tests down, one to go, an article due soon, tutorials and readings to dig into, a project looming in the distance. How am I holding up? Hmm.
I'm unwell, really, but what's new. God I dunno what depression wave has hit me that I'm consistently down in the dumps, if not externally, perhaps at least at the back of my head.
Sure I genuinely laugh and talk cock (Singlish for "talk nonsense", "joke around") and enjoy happy conversations with fellow Pinoys and hallmates and first floor neighbors and choirmates and tutorial-mates (I love you all, seriously), but when I think of SUCKY MIDTERM TESTS, especially those just freshly taken, I get that funny familiar feeling.What's more, whatever emotion is evoked has to be set aside for the moment, as right there waiting is the next test to mug for, the next tutorial to solve, the next lecture to figure out.
What's worse is that, more often than not, these bouts of post-midterm-test blues trigger my other mind monsters that ought to be tucked deep into the subconscious during mugging season. These include the Homesickness (of the mild sort though) Monster, Mr. I'm-not-good-enough and his gang: Mr. What-on-earth-have-I-been-doing-all-this-time, Mr. Maybe-I-can't-even-reach-honours-year, and Mr. Maybe-it's-all-downhill-from-high-school.
Actually, I've not been feeling so low all this week. Over the weekend, I derived some sort of happiness from finally figuring out my Mathematical Statistics and Advanced Calculus. Or at least, from the illusion that I finally figured them out. Thank God for midterm tests that snap us back to reality.
And thank God for the Beatles too. It's strange how I turn to their songs whenever I'm not feeling too good. Try "Hey Jude", "Let It Be" (never mind if "Mother Mary" there was intended by Paul McCartney to mean his biological mom), and "Across the Universe" sometime. Must stop listening to "In My Life" though. You know, the "There are places I remember" song. I can't help but think too much, see.
OK, I feel better now. What's on my plate: an article for the Ridge due Sunday (thank God my editor Asraf extended it), and Linguistics test on Friday.
Let it be, Joseph. Take a sad song and make it better.
P.S.
Kai! You're back in Davao! Hehe, enjoy! Hello to Ma and Dad and Lolas!
