I found my lost tickets! Yey. Thanks for the concern everyone, thanks to Johni for helping me locate the missing file, and to my dear Ma and Dad for sending me encouraging messages via SMS or email. Thanks too to those who just knew and trusted that I would find the tickets. Sometimes I worry too much and don't trust enough.
* * *
Sometimes too I trust too much. I don't know whether this is just me being overacting and emo, but it sucks when one is disillusioned -- whether it's a belief in self, a belief in something or someone or a belief in those lofty intangibles like friendship and love and family.
It's pretty mundane, really, and it's not worth posting here. *Joseph thinks twice whether to mention it or not and decides he's saying it regardless* It's about hotel room assignment in the choir competition in Pattaya, Thailand in July. This morning, we had to choose our roommates as there would be four persons sharing a room.
I thought I had considered this small group of basses to be my good friends over the past year/s, and I had naturally thought I'd be sharing a room with them. After all, four is quite a big number and there's a lot of leeway.
Oh well, suffice it to say I have still yet to find my roommates.
Anybody from choir who reads this don't mention it to them basses OK.
Maybe it's a good thing too. It's time we all get disillusioned, really, to allow us to view reality in sharp detail. I'm not friendless anyway. Besides, why should I be surprised really? This has happened so many times to me before, even before Choir, even before Singapore.
Also, I've been too high-strung and irritable lately because of the work I have to do for my extra-curriculars and school, so maybe I haven't been much fun company, and yeah, sometimes I even feel I should detach myself from the world so I don't spread my misery.
Still I feel that, precisely because of the sorry state I'm in, that I need my friends the most. That's why I thoroughly appreciate my other friends now, and of course my family, even if you all are thousands of miles away.
* * *
Financial mathematics has this ability to make me feel stupid. I'm making progress, yes, but Monday is nearing so quickly, I'm not sure I have enough energy and happy thoughts and brain reserves in my knapsack to keep me going.
* * *
I met Sgt. Pepper today again. He was reaching for his back with his fingers.
"I'm massaging myself," he said. "Nobody would do it for me otherwise."
I offered him a bar of Cadbury chocolate (The Gift of Happiness, said the box of 8 bars), and some Ferrero Rocher. It was all good and yummy, until we ran out.
Lost
Sigh.
As Secretary of the Choir and Head of Marketing, I've been working my ass off spamming, faxing, calling churches, schools and companies to either buy tickets for the concert or
advertise in our concert booklet. (And as I've mentioned, this is taking its toll on my studies.)
Now guess what. I was looking for the tickets I took out and "sold" to friends (although I haven't physically given them the tix yet), and realized that the Freshmen Inauguration Ceremony file I have, the one I thought I placed the tickets in, is not mine after all. I swapped with this guy from tenor, based on some random sheets of paper slotted inside.
And it sucks even more because aside from my seven tickets, I also stored (plan was temporarily) Choir VP Aaron's five tickets there too.
So yes, my file is lost, the tickets are lost, and if I don't find them soon, I may have to pay
12 x $10.60 (early bird tix) = a lot of money I can't afford to stupidly lose. What's more, there are no more early bird tickets, so I'd have to rely on the good graces of those I sold the early bird tix so they'd be willing to pay the standard ticket price $13. (Don't worry, guys, I'll do my best to find the lost ones.)
Haaay. Ironic that I have to pay a fortune for this blunder after all the shit I've been doing to promote the concert.
God please tell me this is just one joke, and it's soon gonna be over. :(
As Secretary of the Choir and Head of Marketing, I've been working my ass off spamming, faxing, calling churches, schools and companies to either buy tickets for the concert or
advertise in our concert booklet. (And as I've mentioned, this is taking its toll on my studies.)
Now guess what. I was looking for the tickets I took out and "sold" to friends (although I haven't physically given them the tix yet), and realized that the Freshmen Inauguration Ceremony file I have, the one I thought I placed the tickets in, is not mine after all. I swapped with this guy from tenor, based on some random sheets of paper slotted inside.
And it sucks even more because aside from my seven tickets, I also stored (plan was temporarily) Choir VP Aaron's five tickets there too.
So yes, my file is lost, the tickets are lost, and if I don't find them soon, I may have to pay
12 x $10.60 (early bird tix) = a lot of money I can't afford to stupidly lose. What's more, there are no more early bird tickets, so I'd have to rely on the good graces of those I sold the early bird tix so they'd be willing to pay the standard ticket price $13. (Don't worry, guys, I'll do my best to find the lost ones.)
Haaay. Ironic that I have to pay a fortune for this blunder after all the shit I've been doing to promote the concert.
God please tell me this is just one joke, and it's soon gonna be over. :(
Send it up
I'm really at my wit's end right now, and I can't believe I'm still busy with Choir stuff when I really should be studying for my midterm tests next week.
It's just so draining sometimes and it's very tempting to give up. I also realized that the fate of my possible Honours Year next year depends largely on my performance in Monday's Financial Maths test, which constitutes 40% of the grade. I'm scared shit during tutorials, because a lot of the problems I cannot do, and the lecturer seems to assume that the students already know what he considers "straightforward" and "trivial" matters.
I sincerely pray that God will help me, and I be in the proper disposition to study and absorb the content of my lecture notes and tutorial sheets.
My parents have been urging me to drop my CCAs, but I counter that the extra-curricular work will be over soon, so I'm just hanging in there. This decision doesn't give me any more time to study though.
I know I should just send it all up -- offer these challenges to Him while doing my best to overcome the hurdles that come my way. And I think I'll do just that.
It's just so draining sometimes and it's very tempting to give up. I also realized that the fate of my possible Honours Year next year depends largely on my performance in Monday's Financial Maths test, which constitutes 40% of the grade. I'm scared shit during tutorials, because a lot of the problems I cannot do, and the lecturer seems to assume that the students already know what he considers "straightforward" and "trivial" matters.
I sincerely pray that God will help me, and I be in the proper disposition to study and absorb the content of my lecture notes and tutorial sheets.
My parents have been urging me to drop my CCAs, but I counter that the extra-curricular work will be over soon, so I'm just hanging in there. This decision doesn't give me any more time to study though.
I know I should just send it all up -- offer these challenges to Him while doing my best to overcome the hurdles that come my way. And I think I'll do just that.
Catching Up
Woohooo what do you know, a surprise post from me.
Wow it's been incredibly busy the past weeks and it's not gonna slow down anytime soon, but Jose's catching up baby. I've been overwhelmed the past few weeks -- overwhelmed with a lot of work, then overwhelmed with Nothing, which in turn led to a more thoroughly overwhelmed me most recently.
But I'm catching up soon you guys. I've done SO MUCH WORK for NUS Choir today I ought to get paid. Seriously. You know you're doing too much secretary work when the idea of an airconditioned office and cubicles and fax machines and PCs and swivel chairs on wheels suddenly seem a little bit more appealing to you. It's not a bad thing too, really.
Anyway the thing that's nagging me, really, is my collective schoolwork, which will take a more vicious and aggressive stance in the form of three midterm tests, beginning Monday. The scariest test is Financial Mathematics, and I have yet to gather enough intellectual weaponry to overcome it. But as I've said, I'm catching up. :)
I also wanna do some catch-up with people -- even my birthday greeters from two weeks back! Bad Joseph even missed to thank some of you. I will, I will. The friends who messaged me on Friendster or Multiply or via SMS or even in person, yes I'll catch up with you all. My family too, how're you all doing? :)
A lot has been happening, and I haven't even recounted what happened on my birthday yet. Anyway, I'm taking it in stride, I'm gaining little victories every day (however mundane), and it's gonna be all perfectly fine in two or three weeks' time.
I should be pissed really, for being swamped and sandwiched and trapped, but I'm making the rational choice to play Mr. Brightside. Maybe it's an Ash Wednesday thing -- I'm beginning to find joy in sacrifice.
Have a blessed Ash Wednesday to you all.
P.S.
Joseph was elected last week as Executive Editor for Features (encompassing Outspoken, Transmedia, and Lifestyle desks) of The Ridge. I assume the new position (from being Outspoken Editor) beginning next academic year. Haha, does that mean I have to do Honours Year now?
Wow it's been incredibly busy the past weeks and it's not gonna slow down anytime soon, but Jose's catching up baby. I've been overwhelmed the past few weeks -- overwhelmed with a lot of work, then overwhelmed with Nothing, which in turn led to a more thoroughly overwhelmed me most recently.
But I'm catching up soon you guys. I've done SO MUCH WORK for NUS Choir today I ought to get paid. Seriously. You know you're doing too much secretary work when the idea of an airconditioned office and cubicles and fax machines and PCs and swivel chairs on wheels suddenly seem a little bit more appealing to you. It's not a bad thing too, really.
Anyway the thing that's nagging me, really, is my collective schoolwork, which will take a more vicious and aggressive stance in the form of three midterm tests, beginning Monday. The scariest test is Financial Mathematics, and I have yet to gather enough intellectual weaponry to overcome it. But as I've said, I'm catching up. :)
I also wanna do some catch-up with people -- even my birthday greeters from two weeks back! Bad Joseph even missed to thank some of you. I will, I will. The friends who messaged me on Friendster or Multiply or via SMS or even in person, yes I'll catch up with you all. My family too, how're you all doing? :)
A lot has been happening, and I haven't even recounted what happened on my birthday yet. Anyway, I'm taking it in stride, I'm gaining little victories every day (however mundane), and it's gonna be all perfectly fine in two or three weeks' time.
I should be pissed really, for being swamped and sandwiched and trapped, but I'm making the rational choice to play Mr. Brightside. Maybe it's an Ash Wednesday thing -- I'm beginning to find joy in sacrifice.
Have a blessed Ash Wednesday to you all.
P.S.
Joseph was elected last week as Executive Editor for Features (encompassing Outspoken, Transmedia, and Lifestyle desks) of The Ridge. I assume the new position (from being Outspoken Editor) beginning next academic year. Haha, does that mean I have to do Honours Year now?
Not the Birthday Post
To paraphrase what I had mentioned many times before, the "eventfulness" of an event isn't measured by the presence or absence of blog entry to chronicle it, especially in this age when the great issues of the world can be given equal blog treatment as the mundane.
While I still believe that, I'm making an exception. I believe that one's birthday -- a person's own space and time of all the days of a year -- must be treated with enough attention and regard that it is rendered "blogworthy", even if it is mentioned only in passing.
That's why it saddens me that I haven't found the time to blog about my 21st birthday. It's a combination of fatigue, laziness, distraction, and just the good old CCA and School work that's been keeping me busy.
It was a happy day, though, February 8th. I thought it would rival last year as the worst birthday ever (OK that's slightly an exaggeration, but only slightly), and it did, for a while, until my friends and family came to save the day, in various methods of communicating their presence. I appreciate it all.
I'll write a proper blog entry for that day, it really depends, in large part, to The Ridge, NUS Choir, and Financial Mathematics and my five other modules.
While I still believe that, I'm making an exception. I believe that one's birthday -- a person's own space and time of all the days of a year -- must be treated with enough attention and regard that it is rendered "blogworthy", even if it is mentioned only in passing.
That's why it saddens me that I haven't found the time to blog about my 21st birthday. It's a combination of fatigue, laziness, distraction, and just the good old CCA and School work that's been keeping me busy.
It was a happy day, though, February 8th. I thought it would rival last year as the worst birthday ever (OK that's slightly an exaggeration, but only slightly), and it did, for a while, until my friends and family came to save the day, in various methods of communicating their presence. I appreciate it all.
I'll write a proper blog entry for that day, it really depends, in large part, to The Ridge, NUS Choir, and Financial Mathematics and my five other modules.
Mr. Brightside
"If anything," Sgt. Pepper was telling me earlier tonight, "this whole experience has taught me to appreciate myself more, to find solace in solitude, to hang on to those to whom I matter, to take more notice of what I am capable of (never mind whatever else), and to be more keenly aware of the presence of God."
Well said. Your rainy days will just be miserable if you don't find anything to be joyful and thankful for, really. I wish you happy days, Sgt. Pepper.
Ma sent me an email to say, among a few other things, that my granduncle Lolo Gario passed away a few days ago. He and his brother, my own grandfather Lolo Yoyong, who had passed away in 2001, were very close, and they had nothing but the fondest memories of each other. Mama was saying that she could imagine them having a good time in heaven right about now, and I guess that's the way to look at it.
I visited Lolo Gario in my short trip to the Philippines in December. He lived an hour away from my Davao City, and their extended home was most accommodating to me and my grandma. He was not in good health, though; he had then just suffered a stroke, he was thin, his speech had turned mostly unintelligible.
(Photo: [counterclockwise] Lolo Gario, his sister Lola Ime, his grandson and my cousin Tyron, Lola Gloria his wife, and my Lola Doding)
We were never really close, really. I seldom met him. But he was family, he had this peculiar familial warmth about him when we met, and I can't help but be a bit sad. Say hi to Lolo Yoyong for me, Lolo Gario. :)
Well said. Your rainy days will just be miserable if you don't find anything to be joyful and thankful for, really. I wish you happy days, Sgt. Pepper.
Ma sent me an email to say, among a few other things, that my granduncle Lolo Gario passed away a few days ago. He and his brother, my own grandfather Lolo Yoyong, who had passed away in 2001, were very close, and they had nothing but the fondest memories of each other. Mama was saying that she could imagine them having a good time in heaven right about now, and I guess that's the way to look at it.
I visited Lolo Gario in my short trip to the Philippines in December. He lived an hour away from my Davao City, and their extended home was most accommodating to me and my grandma. He was not in good health, though; he had then just suffered a stroke, he was thin, his speech had turned mostly unintelligible.
We were never really close, really. I seldom met him. But he was family, he had this peculiar familial warmth about him when we met, and I can't help but be a bit sad. Say hi to Lolo Yoyong for me, Lolo Gario. :)
Sgt. Pepper
I was walking one night when a little man called me.
"I've been following you around. Fix me, I'm broken," he said.
And that's how I met Sgt. Pepper.
"I've been following you around. Fix me, I'm broken," he said.
And that's how I met Sgt. Pepper.
Shut Up and Smile Pt. 1
It's been an incredibly exhausting week, and I'm beginning to feel the stress of taking 6 modules (5 of which are level 3000, and thus far, one of them has stunned me and left me gaping in horror at my sheer empty-headedness), being an editor for The Ridge and in-charge of lugging around brand new Ridge stands, and being NUS Choir Secretary and head of marketing for our upcoming concert.
I won't detail those here, and I feel what deserve a blog post are the bright sparks and good news of the past week.
Let's start with the most recent. Korinna's birthday on Monday cheered me up. 21 is a big step if you ask me (a scary one too), and I felt that this particular birthday deserved special attention. I don't usually give gifts to people (maybe because I can be a real cheapskate), but for Korinna I knew just what to give her, one that was free too.
See, Korinna is this pretty girl who performed for this NUS Rag Day 2005 for Kent Ridge Hall (Rag Day is a colorful event of big floats and costumes and dances), and this got her face plastered in the official NUS Centennial Roving Exhibition poster, among other Centennial celebrations publicity materials. In the Med Library where I frequently use the computers, I have, for the longest time, been eyeing this A3-size Centennial poster just above the PC terminals, and knew that Kor would want to have it. I never quite had the guts to ask the librarian for the poster, until last Sunday. I waited for the place to clear up when closing time that afternoon neared, and waited for a librarian to come by and tidy the PC cluster. Her first response was that sorry, she cannot give the poster because it was NUS, not the Med Lib, who installed the poster in the first place. It was an official NUS poster after all. I mentioned that I needed it for a friend, and she still refused, citing the same reason. I almost gave up but pressed on, saying that the poster was more than a year out-of-date, and my friend (I pointed to Korinna in her confident pose in the poster) was celebrating her birthday. She finally relented, and yahoo I went back with the poster in hand, never mind if the top and bottom parts were a bit spoilt by the masking tape used to stick it.
Anyway to make a long story short, I could tell Kor appreciated it, and even mentioned that her Dad would probably have it framed even. :) And, after reading Korinna's blog, I'm just mighty glad that I had some degree of participation in making a turnaround from what she initially thought was her "worst birthday ever". She's happy. I'm happy too for contributing to that. Plus I had free lunch too. Hehe.
* * *
OK, I'm suddenly busy again. I'll carry on with Part 2 of this post next time.
And oh, the title is this cool fun song by Bowling for Soup. Another line in the song goes, All we need is an ice cream and a hug. Well said you punk rockers.=)
I won't detail those here, and I feel what deserve a blog post are the bright sparks and good news of the past week.
Let's start with the most recent. Korinna's birthday on Monday cheered me up. 21 is a big step if you ask me (a scary one too), and I felt that this particular birthday deserved special attention. I don't usually give gifts to people (maybe because I can be a real cheapskate), but for Korinna I knew just what to give her, one that was free too.
See, Korinna is this pretty girl who performed for this NUS Rag Day 2005 for Kent Ridge Hall (Rag Day is a colorful event of big floats and costumes and dances), and this got her face plastered in the official NUS Centennial Roving Exhibition poster, among other Centennial celebrations publicity materials. In the Med Library where I frequently use the computers, I have, for the longest time, been eyeing this A3-size Centennial poster just above the PC terminals, and knew that Kor would want to have it. I never quite had the guts to ask the librarian for the poster, until last Sunday. I waited for the place to clear up when closing time that afternoon neared, and waited for a librarian to come by and tidy the PC cluster. Her first response was that sorry, she cannot give the poster because it was NUS, not the Med Lib, who installed the poster in the first place. It was an official NUS poster after all. I mentioned that I needed it for a friend, and she still refused, citing the same reason. I almost gave up but pressed on, saying that the poster was more than a year out-of-date, and my friend (I pointed to Korinna in her confident pose in the poster) was celebrating her birthday. She finally relented, and yahoo I went back with the poster in hand, never mind if the top and bottom parts were a bit spoilt by the masking tape used to stick it.
Anyway to make a long story short, I could tell Kor appreciated it, and even mentioned that her Dad would probably have it framed even. :) And, after reading Korinna's blog, I'm just mighty glad that I had some degree of participation in making a turnaround from what she initially thought was her "worst birthday ever". She's happy. I'm happy too for contributing to that. Plus I had free lunch too. Hehe.
* * *
OK, I'm suddenly busy again. I'll carry on with Part 2 of this post next time.
And oh, the title is this cool fun song by Bowling for Soup. Another line in the song goes, All we need is an ice cream and a hug. Well said you punk rockers.=)
Happiness
Happiness is feeling the presence of friends and family, no matter the means or proximity.
It's knowing you matter to those who matter to you, and forgetting to care for those who don't reciprocate.
Happy days ahead. And clubbing therapy tonight, too. Yeah baby.
It's knowing you matter to those who matter to you, and forgetting to care for those who don't reciprocate.
Happy days ahead. And clubbing therapy tonight, too. Yeah baby.
The Boat is Sinking
To describe what I'm feeling now, maybe I can refer you to the Beatles' classic Yesterday. I dunno what's gotten into me, really, but it's this lingering sort of melancholy, too diffuse I can't quite pin it down and give it a name or attribute it to something I can fix.
I can tell you a few things though. That I'm lonely (then again maybe it's just the weather). That I feel others don't respect me as much they used to (if they even did so at all). I don't think people treat me seriously. That I am stressed (what's new, those of you who know me may ask), as this is the heaviest semester of all my almost 4 years here in NUS. And then some.
Add all of them up and you have me -- a Joseph who's constantly carrying some sort of weight on his chest. I sure hope this is not depression, especially that of the clinical sort.
OK bye.
P.S. I may have to rethink my privacy settings with this increasingly personal tone of my rather embarrassing posts.
I can tell you a few things though. That I'm lonely (then again maybe it's just the weather). That I feel others don't respect me as much they used to (if they even did so at all). I don't think people treat me seriously. That I am stressed (what's new, those of you who know me may ask), as this is the heaviest semester of all my almost 4 years here in NUS. And then some.
Add all of them up and you have me -- a Joseph who's constantly carrying some sort of weight on his chest. I sure hope this is not depression, especially that of the clinical sort.
OK bye.
P.S. I may have to rethink my privacy settings with this increasingly personal tone of my rather embarrassing posts.
New Year, New Me, and a New Blog
This year is gonna see a new and improved Joseph. I've started doing some "housekeeping" on several levels (the literal sort I did last night, although I can't figure out how to rearrange my shelves and tables), and Project New Joseph is kicking off. The transition's more bumpy than I thought, but it's there, it's on its way.
There's a new Blogger/Blogspot too. It's so much easier and more user-friendly. New blog template, really, not exactly a new blog. It's one of those templates prepared by Blogger itself, so it's not as customized as the previous ones. Well, new sem has kicked off too, and Joseph hasn't got much time. But there's a new name, though. Not sure I like it too much, but, between you and me, Joseph has really been talking to himself lately. I think it's fine, really, although I can reveal that he's not in the cheerfulest of moods right about now. Maybe it's the weather.
He's gonna be talking a bit more to himself through this blog, though, of that he's sure. Some people don't quite get him and think him weird, so while he still interacts with people who understand and those who don't, he has decided to blog more, if only to save his sanity.
And oh yeah, you might have guessed so, but lately Joseph doesn't quite distinguish between "he" and "I". While this may be bad in an English essay, in a conversation with self it is absolutely fine.
Good night.
There's a new Blogger/Blogspot too. It's so much easier and more user-friendly. New blog template, really, not exactly a new blog. It's one of those templates prepared by Blogger itself, so it's not as customized as the previous ones. Well, new sem has kicked off too, and Joseph hasn't got much time. But there's a new name, though. Not sure I like it too much, but, between you and me, Joseph has really been talking to himself lately. I think it's fine, really, although I can reveal that he's not in the cheerfulest of moods right about now. Maybe it's the weather.
He's gonna be talking a bit more to himself through this blog, though, of that he's sure. Some people don't quite get him and think him weird, so while he still interacts with people who understand and those who don't, he has decided to blog more, if only to save his sanity.
And oh yeah, you might have guessed so, but lately Joseph doesn't quite distinguish between "he" and "I". While this may be bad in an English essay, in a conversation with self it is absolutely fine.
Good night.
Must-Blog
Must-Blog
Hi. I'm back in Singapore, and as much as the holidays in the Philippines were eventful, I didn't feel the need to blog them (or maybe because Internet was slow because of the Taiwan earthquake). Whether I blog the events or not doesn't mean anything anyway, in this time when the significant and the mundane can be given equal blog treatment. About my holidays, suffice it to say that it had been one of my happiest, really--at least that's what I told my friends in my high school reunion. I meant it too; after the chaos that was last semester (and the sem before that), being home laughing and going out and staying in and spending time with those who matter to me was a divine treat.
I'm too busy right now really, and yes I shouldn't be blogging, but I distinctly promised myself this morning to blog tonight.
This is what I want to say: I miss the Philippines and the warmth that my dear family and friends bring. Singapore is only warmer because it's closer to the equator.
I shouldn't be negative and pessimistic, really, but maybe it's the potent combination of work and stress and schoolwork and extracurriculars and fresh-away-from-home-ness so early in the semester and year that's gotten into me.
Whatever it is, I felt the need to blog tonight, and I did. It feels good to let it out.
And oh yeah, thanks Karen for saving me a trip to the shrink. Teehee. Thanks for listening too Xianling--I appreciate it a lot. And haha, I caught you online again, Kerwin.. and you're too happy!:) Take care you guys.
Hi. I'm back in Singapore, and as much as the holidays in the Philippines were eventful, I didn't feel the need to blog them (or maybe because Internet was slow because of the Taiwan earthquake). Whether I blog the events or not doesn't mean anything anyway, in this time when the significant and the mundane can be given equal blog treatment. About my holidays, suffice it to say that it had been one of my happiest, really--at least that's what I told my friends in my high school reunion. I meant it too; after the chaos that was last semester (and the sem before that), being home laughing and going out and staying in and spending time with those who matter to me was a divine treat.
I'm too busy right now really, and yes I shouldn't be blogging, but I distinctly promised myself this morning to blog tonight.
This is what I want to say: I miss the Philippines and the warmth that my dear family and friends bring. Singapore is only warmer because it's closer to the equator.
I shouldn't be negative and pessimistic, really, but maybe it's the potent combination of work and stress and schoolwork and extracurriculars and fresh-away-from-home-ness so early in the semester and year that's gotten into me.
Whatever it is, I felt the need to blog tonight, and I did. It feels good to let it out.
And oh yeah, thanks Karen for saving me a trip to the shrink. Teehee. Thanks for listening too Xianling--I appreciate it a lot. And haha, I caught you online again, Kerwin.. and you're too happy!:) Take care you guys.
