SHEESH. GRADUATION IN RETROSPECT.


[Warning: Cheese.]

i just realized. graduation ng pisay today.
i mentioned it in the last entry, but it just sank in just now.

i remember the last graduation. my graduation.
i remember a crazy whirlwind of emotions.

no, this isn't all mushy. i remember panicking, getting irked and devastated and even angry, feeling sympathy for someone who was feeling annoyed too for a totally different reason, and yeah, the usual pride and melodrama you saw on dawson's creek and tabing-ilog and boston public even.

my parents didn't walk with me during the opening march. they were in the canteen having snacks with my sister and both my lolas. i know it shouldn't be a big deal since the VIPs and my batchmates and their parents were not in the gym yet (they were in a looooooong queue behind me), but it just felt awful.

we were off to take group photos in the quadrangle when i realized i lost my speech (people who know me shouldn't be surprised). needless to say, i panicked. i was wondering if i left it in the car, or in the seats at the gym when we had the baccalaureate mass just moments earlier. i ran to the car, then back to the gym, where i thankfully found the speech in a folder on my seat.

and then my adviser told me, to my horror, that it was time to start the march.

my parents were still in the canteen, and i was frantically calling my dad through his handphone. (i borrowed kirth's handphone since i left mine in the car). my good ol' dad just didn't seem to hear the phone ringing, or feel it vibrating, even if i called him over and over and over again.
i blurted mild curses in exasperation, and felt a shiver as i realized that the other parents wer right in front of me. at that instant, i wanted to vanish and teleport to the canteen and drag my parents.

time to start, my adviser repeated.
march ka nang walang parents, sir angel said.
i couldn't blame him, the VIPs were waiting at the end of the long line, and it would take too long for my parents to squeeze through the thick bunch of batchmates and parents.
that is, if my parents even KNEW that it was time to march.

the music played, and good ol' me marched by my lonesome.

the relatives of the soon-to-be graduates were waiting in the gym in eager anticipation, and there i was, walking across the gym to my seat. my eyes stung like hell.


STOP NA.
too mushy.

i was glad steph was beside me. she had issues of her own too, what with an unpleasant surprise that caught her totally off-guard, and i was glad that she was there to share my short-term woes. thank God she brought kleenex.

it's amazing that i finally composed myself enough to smile as i went up the stage, and with a genuine smile at that. i QUITE forgave my parents sometime during the program, as i was genuinely ecstatic as i went up the beautifully-decorated stage with em.

i think i delivered my speech quite well, surprised that i didn't speak at lightning speed, like i always do, in speeches or just simple conversations.

anyway, all said, that was a happy day.
it's silly for me to hold a grudge against my parents for such trivial matters, so all was well (except that i refused to have an extravagant graduation celebration because of the incident).


sigh. i miss my batchmates, the titans.
never did i have so many hugs, big and warm too, in a single occasion in my entire life.

hmmmm... now this reminds me of ajss graduation na rin.
again, sigh.

now this makes me miss my family and friends na rin. all of em!

double sigh.



STOP.
time to study na! this is not good for my study habits na!!
but it felt good to let that out. whew.